


Born x Without x You

by Dionte



Series: Carnival AU [1]
Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Alternate Universe - Carnival, Bad Parenting, First Dates, First Kiss, First Meetings, Grinding, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Possessive Behavior, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-17
Updated: 2019-02-17
Packaged: 2019-10-30 10:22:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 18,689
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17826860
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dionte/pseuds/Dionte
Summary: Moritonio’s Carnival went to Kukuroo once a year. Hisoka was thirteen when he choose the least expressive kid in the audience to volunteer for a magic trick. It didn’t take long for him to become obsessed.Carnival/Circus AU.





	Born x Without x You

**Author's Note:**

> This was supposed to be a cute short romp. Yeah, that didn’t happen.
> 
> Fair warning, I’m using some characters from the backstory Ishida wrote for Hisoka. Which is a pretty great read, if you haven’t read it already. You can see the love, respect, and effort that went into it. And Abaki is such a good foil for Hisoka.

“How about a volunteer? ♢”

 

Hisoka was doing a new routine for the night, standing in for the normal stage magician. The gal had gotten sick, and left her little sideshow to him. It wasn’t a hard trick by any means, but it was nice to perform on stage unsupervised.

 

He watched all of the eager hands rise into the air before looking at an area where no hands were raised. A family, if he had to guess. A small child, a kid around his age, and their parents. None of them seemed particularly impressed.

 

Fine then. He’d just have to change that.

 

“How about you, with the dark hair and eyes? ♡”

 

The parents looked concerned, scornful, and the younger kid wasn’t even paying attention. The expression of the boy he pointed at didn’t change. Eventually his head tilted to the side, and Hisoka almost laughed.

 

“Yes, you. ♠”

 

The boy glanced towards his parents before heading to the stage, face ever unchanging.

 

“Have you ever participated in a magic trick before? ♣”

 

“No.”

 

“Oh my~ Well, this might be a bit boring for you then. I’m going to put you in a trance, and levitate you~ ♢”

 

“I see.”

 

Hisoka leaned forward, staring into the boy’s eyes. They were dark and a bit eerie.

 

He liked them.

 

“Perhaps you should do the trick though, your eyes are hypnotizing~ ♡”

 

Hisoka saw a glimmer of humor cross the other boy’s face as he replied, “I wouldn’t know how.” 

 

That had to be a win. He leaned forward and slung his arm around the boy with a grin. “Oh, the position of lovely assistant is open, if you’d like to learn~ ♡”

 

The boy tensed, and Hisoka quickly glanced to the side. Ah, his parents were getting pissed. He ignored the glares and turn his attention back to his volunteer.

 

“I do suppose we should move on with the act though. ♠”

 

He reached down, gently leading the boy by the hand to the front of his rig.

 

“Now, when I count down from ten, you’ll enter a hypnotic state, and I’ll have you lie down here. ♢” Hisoka tapped the bed, then turned back to his audience. “Afterwards, I’ll levitate you, and-” Hisoka pulled out a large folding ring from behind his back, quickly and dramatically enough to seem like magic and make the audience coo. “-bring this ring around you a few times. Just to prove you’re floating. ♠”

 

“Understood.”

 

Hisoka smiled. The kid’s expression was still flat, but he was starting to find it a little cute. Made him want to rile up the boy’s parents more.

 

“Alright then~ ♢” Hisoka began to count down, and once he was finished, he looked closely at his volunteer. Perhaps it was because he was so close, but it seemed like the boy’s features had softened, and his eyes had become more vacant.

 

He guided the boy to lay down on the bed, perhaps a tad melodramatically, if the kid’s parent’s expressions were anything to go by. He walked behind the table, going back and forth to distract everyone. With a gesture up, he began to raise the table into the sky, much to the shock of the audience. Hisoka pulled the ring out, and began to move it around the body, allowing it to roll across his shoulder when he changed sides. When he was finished, and the audience’s mouths were satisfyingly agape, he tossed the ring high where it caught on a hook above their view. He stepped on the button to lower the platform, and the kid began to come down.

 

“Welcome back~ ♢”

 

The kid blinked, and sat up. He looked around absently. “Done already?”

 

“Yes. You can go back to your family now. ♠”

 

The boy stared at him, before the corners of his lips twitched up, barely. “You were right.”

 

“You’ll have to be more specific~ ♢”

 

“It was boring for me.”

 

Hisoka threw back his head and cackled, arm falling on the kid’s shoulder. “Only for you. ♡”

 

The boy went back to his seat and Hisoka continued his tricks, occasionally dragging his gaze over the family. They sat, upright and stiff, the mother sneering at him. The boy watched, blank expression still on his face until Hisoka’s performance was over. He liked to think the kid actually enjoyed it. And when Hisoka watched them leave the tent, he met the boy’s eyes for a split second. Hisoka threw a wink before the mother’s hand reached over and forced the boy to walk.

 

“Come now, Illumi. We should never have stopped at such a… banal affair.”

 

Rude. But his name was Illumi, huh? Too bad with parents like that he’d probably never see him again. He’d seemed interesting.

 

When they returned to Kukuroo the next year, Hisoka didn’t expect to see Illumi. At all. So when he did, he was frozen solid. Illumi, holding the hand of his little brother, who had gained some weight from last year. He was eating some of the carnival treats, and Illumi was looking around, same expression as ever.

 

Hisoka glanced around discreetly, trying to catch of glimpse of his parents. He was sure after their reaction last year, Illumi wouldn’t be able to show up. And yet, here he was. After confirming they were not in the area, he slipped into the crowd to get closer, before slipping an arm around Illumi’s shoulder.

 

“Well, hello there~ ♡”

 

Illumi turned to him. “Hello.”

 

“How’d you ditch your parents? ♣”

 

Illumi only blinked, looking down at his brother. “They’re busy, so I’m in charge of babysitting.”

 

“I see~ ♠”

 

“Are you performing today?”

 

“Yes, but not a sideshow. I’m replacing an injured juggler in the main show. Though if I prove myself today, I may get my own act~ ♢”

 

“I see. When-”

 

“Illu, more!”

 

Illumi looked at his brother, who’d powered his way through whatever he’d been eating when Hisoka arrived. Hisoka watched him sigh as he began looking for another food stand.

 

“There’s onion roses over there~ ♠”

 

Illumi glanced over and nodded. “Thanks.”

 

When he walked away, Hisoka followed along, joining them in the line-up for the stand. Illumi gave him a curious glance, but didn’t say anything.

 

“I didn’t think you’d show up again. ♢”

 

Illumi looked down, and Hisoka saw his hand tighten around his brother’s.

 

“You were right to think that.”

 

Which meant Illumi had snuck off somehow. “What has your parents so busy they don’t know where you are? ♣”

 

Illumi frowned. “New baby.”

 

“Oh~ That is a good distraction. ♠”

 

Illumi nodded, then walked forward to pay for the onion rose. He handed it over to his little brother before turning back to Hisoka.

 

“So when is the main show?”

 

Hisoka grinned, doing a quick handstand on one of the benches. “It’ll be in about an hour. ♢”

 

Illumi checked his phone and Hisoka realized, with this lighting, Illumi had some impressive bags under his eyes. He wondered what could possibly be happening to cause those.

 

“Say, Illumi, how about you ditch the pig and have some fun with me instead. ♡”

 

That must have hit a nerve, because this was the first time Hisoka could so clearly read Illumi's expression. His face violently darkened in anger, and Hisoka felt a chill go down his spine. He shivered in pleasure.

 

“Just kidding. ♡”

 

The calm mask returned in less than a second. No sign of the rage from just a few moments ago. Fascinating~

 

“You really care about your family, hmm~? ♠”

 

But Illumi didn't seem to hear him. He remained silent, eyebrows furrowing just slightly. Was Illumi troubled by something now?

 

“Illumi? ♣”

 

That got his attention back. “Ah. Yes. My family is all I have.”

 

Well. That was a bit disappointing, but it begged the question, “then why are you here? ♢”

 

Illumi blinked at him. He looked away. Hisoka tracked his gaze to his little brother, but Illumi didn't seem focused on the brat. Finally, he said, “I am not all my family has.”

 

Hisoka understood. It made him want to somehow claim ownership of Illumi, because he was sure to find use for him. Illumi had been entertaining since day one. His indifference in the face of his parent's distaste, his eerily calm demeanor-

 

“Hisoka!”

 

Illumi's head snapped to the newcomer and Hisoka sighed. A girl around their age approached, known to the public as their tightrope walker. Hisoka knew her as Abaki.

 

“You can't just sneak out like that! This is your first time performing in the big show. You need to practice!”

 

“I've already proven I can do the routine perfectly. ♢”

 

“Yasuda says you haven’t.”

 

Abaki walked up to him with a frown before noticing Illumi. Then she froze and gaped at the two of them, floundering before she turned to the guest.

 

“Has he been bothering you?”

 

Illumi only stared in response, and Hisoka thought he could see humor in Illumi's eyes. His lack of expression only served to unsettle Abaki, and she gripped Hisoka's arm tight.

 

“We'll, uh. Get going now.”

 

Illumi nodded, and as Hisoka was dragged off by Abaki, he looked behind them. Illumi was no longer paying attention to them. He seemed to mutter something to himself before his head snapped up.

 

“Milluki, no.”

 

Hisoka laughed, even as Illumi moved from his sight.

 

Abaki punched his arm, but it wasn’t as hard as she would normally. He thought over his last moment with Illumi again, turning to Abaki.

 

“Did you hear what Illumi muttered just now? ♣”

 

Her brows furrowed together as she thought. “That guy just now? I don’t think he said anything.”

 

“Hmm. ♠”

 

Well, he was glad to have something to puzzle over during what would otherwise be a boring practice.

 

Abaki examined him for a moment, before sighing. “Why were you hanging out with him anyway? You tend to uh, not associate with people often.”

 

“I associate with you~ ♡”

 

“Barely.”

 

Hisoka chuckled, but it was true. He simply wasn’t impressed by many members of the troupe. Besides the ringmaster and Abaki, very few of them had much real talent. It made Hisoka antsy to find a new challenge. For now though, he still had things he wished to learn here.

 

Not juggling. He’d already mastered that.

 

And Hisoka continued to prove it during practice with Yasuda. So while he mindlessly repeated the routine, he thought.

 

What had Illumi muttered?

 

He somehow thought it looked familiar, but he hadn't heard what was said.

 

He caught a bowling pin lugged at him by his ‘partner.’ Yasuda had been throwing more forcefully since Kishita was injured. And he'd never been fond of Hisoka. Ah, but perhaps he could be useful.

 

“Hey, Yasuda, whisper something. I want to see if I can read your lips. ♢”

 

“Fuck you!”

 

Worth a shot.

 

Yasuda acted much the same during the performance too. He threw recklessly, and when Hisoka caught all the pins with ease, he began changing the routine. Not that it mattered much. Hisoka had enough confidence in his own talent to make no mistakes.

 

Yasuda, on the other hand, had been focusing so hard on making Hisoka mess up that he dropped one of the pins.

 

Hisoka found the irony of the situation amusing.

 

The crowd went wild for him, and he smirked at the applause, eyes scanning for distinctive black hair and eyes. Illumi was politely clapping, but he had a slight frown. When their eyes met, the frown disappeared, and Hisoka felt a chill run up his spine. If only everyone in the troupe could make him feel such excitement~

 

Yasuda apologized after the performance, though Hisoka had no desire to have or hear an apology from him. Really. The troupe’s master had apparently insisted upon it, and once the show was finished, he approached Hisoka himself.

 

“Excellent performance out there, Hisoka. We’ll start working on your act once Kishita has recovered.”

 

“Fantastic~ ♢”

 

All Hisoka could think of was how he wanted to get out of there. Illumi could be walking out the gates while they were debriefing. Of course, the other performers would ream him if he left, especially in the middle of such good news. Thankfully, Moritonio seemed well aware that Hisoka’s focus wasn’t with him right now.

 

“We’ll talk about this later, Hisoka. Go on.”

 

“Thank you, ringmaster~ ♠”

 

Moritonio only nodded, and Hisoka ran out of the tents, then froze. The circus was large. He had to be smart about this if he wanted to catch Illumi. Or perhaps… Hisoka grinned and ran to the nearest food stand. Sure enough, Illumi was handing his little brother a funnel cake.

 

“Illumi~ ♡”

 

He looked up, heat tilting to the side. “Hisoka.”

 

Hisoka grinned, leaning towards him. “So, what did you think? ♠”

 

Illumi got a frown again, and crossed his arms. “You did well.”

 

“... That’s not what your body language is saying. ♣”

 

Illumi blinked. “Ah. It’s true though. You did perfectly well. Your partner on the other hand, appeared to be trying too hard. He overbalanced and lost a pin. I wasn’t impressed.”

 

Hisoka felt his smile grow wider. This was why he had been enjoying Illumi. “It was very unprofessional of him. ♠”

 

“Did his performance make them rethink your suitability for an act?”

 

“No. Confirmed it, more like~ ♢.”

 

Illumi nodded. “Good.”

 

“I’m pleased to have such an ardent supporter, ♡” Hisoka purred.

 

They lapsed into a comfortable silence after that, Hisoka watching as the younger brother scarfed down the funnel cake. In a way, it was impressive. Disgusting, but impressive. When he returned his attention to Illumi, he realized Illumi had been staring at him the entire time. Quite intently, as well.

 

“Did you want to ask me something? ♣”

 

“Why did you follow me?”

 

Hisoka blinked.

 

“We met last year by chance. This year by coincidence. But just now had to be purposeful.”

 

Hisoka stared at Illumi for a moment, then he laughed. Illumi remained nonplussed, and once Hisoka’s chortles died down, he rested his head on a fist and smirked.

 

“Maybe I just find you interesting~ ♡”

 

“My parents would be revolted.”

 

“But you aren’t~ ♣”

 

Illumi’s head tilted again, a sign that he was thinking. “You’re skilled. I see no reason working in a carnival would devalue that.”

 

“Ooh~ I’m-”

 

A soft plain buzzing began, and Hisoka frowned when Illumi pulled out a phone and answered it.

 

“Hello Mother.”

 

He felt a little bitter at the interruption. And the knowledge that his time with Illumi would now be cut short. There was little else he expected the call to be about. When he hung up, Illumi picked up his brother, who was licking the remaining sugar off his fingers, and turned to Hisoka.

 

“I have to go.”

 

Hisoka nodded. “See you next year? ♢”

 

Illumi stared at him for a few seconds, and the corners of his lips twitched up. “I’ll try.”

 

It was good enough for Hisoka. He watched Illumi carry away his brother, and stole some gum from a stand. The screeches of the offended owner summoned Abaki, who calmed them. She muttered something, and Hisoka’s hand went to cover his sudden smirk.

 

Hisoka.

 

That was what Illumi had muttered earlier. Illumi had muttered his name. And thinking about it, it made sense. He’d never introduced himself- Abaki yelling it would have been the first time Illumi had heard it.

 

As they returned to the main tent, Hisoka couldn’t stop chuckling. He didn’t know what was drawing him to Illumi, but he knew something was.

 

They traveled the country again, performing tricks. As Moritonio promised, Hisoka began training for his own act, which they had decided to make bungee trapeze. And with some other acts retiring, Moritonio began looking for new recruits as well. Some of them caught Hisoka’s eye. He struck up some sort of friendship with a new girl named Machi. She had talent, Hisoka would easily admit, but ended up permanently manning the nurse station. The new illusionist also caught his eye, a fellow named Chrollo, who quickly garnered his own little following.

 

Yes, Hisoka was enjoying himself. But he couldn’t get Illumi out of his head. As the time came closer to return to Kukuroo, he couldn’t conceal his excitement. He even convinced Moritonio to take him out of the lineup for this one night. Abaki had been wordless with shock.

 

When the carnival opened up, Hisoka found a high vantage point and watched for Illumi’s dark hair.

 

Nothing.

 

He quashed the disappointment. Perhaps his parents were making him take care of the baby today. Still, surely he could find a couple of hours to-

 

“Hisoka.”

 

Illumi was standing below him, his brother absent. Or so Hisoka had thought, before he came down and saw the other boy getting food from a stand. At least the kid had learned how to do that himself.

 

“Illumi~ ♡”

 

“Good evening. Will you be performing tonight?”

 

“Ah, no~ I have tonight off. ♢”

 

Strangely, Illumi seemed disappointed by the news. So he liked seeing Hisoka perform… How flattering~

 

Hisoka leaned closer, about to tease Illumi when he noticed it. The sallow skin around his eyes. Hisoka reached a hand up and forced Illumi to look at him, watching closely. His eyes were unfocused. He must be even more tired than last year.

 

“Let go of me.”

 

Hisoka did, then looked at the little brother, who was staring at them between playing some game on his phone and eating his snack.

 

“Hey, kid. ♠”

 

“My name is Milluki.”

 

“Milluki, did you really want to come to the carnival tonight? ♣”

 

The kid glanced at Illumi, then back to him. “Not particularly.”

 

“Go to the first aid tent. If you tell the lady there you just want to rest and wait for your brother, she’ll help you. ♢”

 

The kid nodded, and began hobbling off towards the direction of the first aid tent. Hisoka glanced over to Illumi, who was staring at him incredulously.

 

“You can’t just send my brother away like that.”

 

“He agreed. More than that,” Hisoka whirled and leaned over Illumi with a grin. “Now you’re stuck with me. ♢”

 

Illumi blinked, then pushed Hisoka away with one hand.

 

“Oh, you’re pretty strong~ ♡”

 

“I’ve trained in a few martial arts.”

 

Hisoka rested a hand on his hip with a smirk. “I see. Well, how about some light competition? We’ll play some of the carnival games, and whoever wins at each stand requests something of the loser. ♠”

 

Illumi cocked his head to the side. “What’s the purpose in that?”

 

“Fun~ ♢” Illumi looked unimpressed, but Hisoka had a trick up his sleeve. “Or do you think you’ll lose? ♡”

 

Illumi glared, and marched to the nearest game stand, a shooting gallery. “Let’s do this then.”

 

“That’s more like it. ♠”

 

They paid and shot, each concentrating on their own task. Hisoka missed one shot, but for a rigged game, he had done well enough. He looked to the shop owner, who was staring at the both of them with wide eyes.

 

“So who won? ♢”

 

The man glanced at Illumi. “The kid with the creepy eyes. Didn’t miss a shot.”

 

Hisoka was stunned. He looked at Illumi, who simply set the gun back on the counter. Hisoka felt his face split in a smile, and he returned his own gun before bowing to Illumi.

 

“So what do you desire, my prince? ♡”

 

“Nothing.”

 

Hisoka stood straight with a pout. “Now now, you agreed to this. You must have something you want~ ♣”

 

“I don’t.”

 

Hisoka rested his hands on his hips and waited. Despite what he said, Illumi was thinking. If he gave Illumi enough time, he might come up with something.

 

“Maybe.”

 

“Maybe? ♣”

 

Illumi hesitated. “I’d like something sweet.”

 

It was vague, but better than nothing. “I could get you ice cream. ♢”

 

His face barely changed, but Hisoka could read the happiness there. It was adorable, really.

 

“Let’s go. ♠”

 

They walked over to an ice cream stand, and Hisoka paid for a triple chocolate ice cream. Illumi had more of a sweet tooth than he expected, but that was exactly why he was playing this little game. To learn more about Illumi.

 

The next game, Hisoka didn’t let down his guard. He won, and learned that Illumi’s family disapproved of guns, but they still had taught him how to hunt. The night went on like that, the two of them evenly matched and learning about each other with every win. Hisoka learned that Illumi was a year younger than him, and his family had yet another baby. He was an excellent student, participated in debate, and had high rankings in multiple martial arts styles. Illumi learned that Hisoka had been performing bungee trapeze, that he respected maybe three or four people in the carnival, and that Hisoka loved a particular brand of gum. He also got a brownie and sweet tea that he sugared up more than Hisoka thought possible.

 

The time for the main performance came too soon, and they sat in the stands together.

 

It was a different experience from the crowd, and Hisoka watched closely as Moritonio performed his air walking trick. He was close to cracking how the man did it, since there were a few details he thought out of place. He paused. He had a second pair of eyes today. Perhaps Illumi had some thoughts. With that in mind, he turned to Illumi, but found the question dying on his lips.

 

Illumi was asleep.

 

Yes. Illumi was dead asleep next to him.

 

Hisoka huffed a laugh, before it turned into a deep chested chortle. He looked at Illumi again.

 

Sound asleep.

 

He wasn’t able to tear his gaze from Illumi for the rest of the night. So relaxed, so calm. He felt heat building in his stomach, and part of him wanted something, but he had no idea what that something was. Perhaps after a long night of games and fun with Illumi, he felt proud to have gained such rapport with the stoic boy.

 

Illumi woke to the uproarious applause at the end of the performance, and when he left with Milluki, he seemed more relaxed he ever had before.

 

It made Hisoka proud.

 

When he told the story to Abaki, she joked that maybe he was in love.

 

He laughed at her, and shrugged it off. He might be at that age, but Hisoka did not ‘love.’

 

The circus had been a strange place to go through puberty, to learn about love. Or perhaps Hisoka was the strange one. He saw young couples come and go, blushing softly as they held hands for the first time. He saw adults kissing passionately in the shadows. But he felt nothing. Sure, the kids were cute together, the adults seemed like they were having fun, but Hisoka didn’t understand the soft feeling they described. He could understand the passion, maybe, but he’d always associated that with wanting to defeat talented people in fights or performances.

 

He knew about attraction. He’d seen some of the lingering gazes people ran over him. He’d kissed a lot of people as well. Boys and girls alike. He had been accused of kissing other things as well, but it was only once, and it was to help Abaki outgrow that frog prince thing.

 

Arousal, now, that he understood a bit more. He’d been fighting once, and when he’d stood over his opponent, bruised and bloody, he was hard. It had been a tough fight. But he didn’t understand arousal in reference to love. How were people not attracted to someone they wanted to fight? And how did people not get aroused when they fought?

 

Hisoka didn’t know.

 

He learned to utilize his figure regardless. He loved the reactions he would receive to flirtations, which ranged from almost nothing from Machi, actually nothing from Chrollo, to a full body blush and sputtering from Abaki. She had enough of his teasing eventually and finally snapped.

 

“I know you already have someone you like, so would you please just stop teasing me?!”

 

That threw him for a loop, because it wasn’t true. At least to his knowledge. “What do you mean? ♣”

 

Abaki only glared, and she didn’t answer him whenever he asked about what she meant. When he disclosed the story to Machi, she stared at him before declaring, “You’re a dumbass.”

 

He looked forward to the troupe’s return to Kukuroo, because at least Illumi made sense. And Illumi didn’t steal his makeup, he thought, glaring at the mirror with a frown. Abaki kept stealing his recently, and it ran out so much faster when there were two people using it.

 

With a sigh, Hisoka stood and left the tent, leaving a message for Moritonio that he was going to grab some quick supplies, and leveling a glare at Abaki. She only stuck her tongue out at him. Sheesh. Wasn’t she supposed to be the older one?

 

As he walked through the streets of Kukuroo, he found himself thinking of Illumi. How he lived here, in this city. Hisoka wondered what it was like, to stay in one place for so long. He knew a lot of cities, but he had no favorite sights, no knowledge of that hole in the wall restaurant… Not that Illumi probably did either. With how tightly he seemed to be controlled by his family, Illumi probably only ever ate out at some high class expensive restaurants.

 

Hisoka chuckled to himself, and entered a cosmetic store to restock. He located his favorite brands easily, and felt his eyes drawn to the hair dye selection. Maybe it was time for a change. When he’d purchased everything and began the trek back to camp, he felt eyes on him.

 

So it was going to be one of those days, hmm~

 

When he passed through an alley, he stopped and stashed his purchase to the side. Then he waited. Soon enough, there were footsteps following him in, and he opened his eyes to watch them advance. Probably teenagers looking for the quick high of a fight. It would be hard for him not to catch their eye, though he could feel himself raring to go as well.

 

“Hey carnie! You think you can walk around all prideful in our town?!”

 

“I wasn’t aware the town had an owner~ ♠”

 

They became more annoyed at him, but Hisoka was happy to have a fight on his hands. The one Hisoka assumed to be the leader nodded to one of his underlings, who ran and punched blindly. Hisoka dodged with ease, and let his leg lift up as he surveyed the teens around him. They weren’t impressive. Probably wouldn’t even be a challenge, but he did want to fight.

 

Another fist went flying by his face, and Hisoka volleyed a punch at the boy’s stomach. He doubled over, and another teen ran up, enraged. He ducked his way around, avoiding all the blows when one of the teens by the entrance fell, wheezing in pain.

 

Hisoka looked up to see Illumi there, emotionless and staring at the scene.

 

“How troublesome.”

 

Hisoka grinned. “Are you here to help me? ♣”

 

Illumi sighed but moved forward, and his punches landed faster and harder than Hisoka expected- though he should have known. Illumi had mentioned knowing a few martial arts. And when the leader charged, Illumi spun and slammed the guy to the ground with a merciless roundhouse kick.

 

It was beautiful. Sure, he would had liked to lay them all flat on his own, but seeing Illumi in action had well been worth it. Perhaps moreso.

 

Hisoka grabbed his purchase from where he’d hidden it and walked to Illumi, who was watching the fallen teenagers blankly. Now that he wasn’t dodging attacks, Hisoka noticed Illumi was wearing a uniform and his hair seemed to be getting longer.

 

“Come here often, Illumi? ♡”

 

Illumi didn’t even blink. “This is by my route home. I heard the commotion and wondered.”

 

That was about the response he’d expected. “Will you be attending tonight? My special bungee trapeze is sure to be a show. ♢”

 

“You’re always a show. But yes, I plan to attend.”

 

“Wonderful~ ♠”

 

Illumi glanced at him in amusement, then turned away. “I need to get home. I’ll see you later, Hisoka.”

 

“Right, see you later~ ♡”

 

It was like a typhoon. Sudden excitement and endangerment, the heart-pounding anticipation, all gone in the blink of an eye. Nothing left but the devastation and the memories. Not that Hisoka was one to dwell on it. He’d be seeing the source later, after all.

 

As he reapplied his makeup in the performer’s tent, Abaki came in. She nabbed his eyeliner with a smirk, only to frown when she realized it was empty.

 

“Didn’t you get a new one?” She pouted.

 

He grinned. “Of course. I also hid it, so you can find your own. ♢”

 

“But you have the best eyeliner!”

 

“Obviously. ♠”

 

Abaki gave up and stole someone else’s makeup, much to Hisoka’s entertainment. As she worked, he leaned on the counter with a smirk.

 

“You’ll never guess who I ran into~ ♢”

 

Abaki blinked, and sunk into thought as she applied lip gloss. “Uh… If you’re excited about it then...” She paused and gave him a bewildered look. “Illumi?”

 

“For a correct guess, you seem awfully confused. ♣”

 

“Yeah, well, I guess I never thought of him as, I don’t know. Actually being a person. Outside of you liking him, I mean. Like, he actually lives in a city and probably has a normal life.”

 

Hisoka froze. “Could you repeat that? ♠”

 

“Sure, I just meant that I never really considered him a normal person-”

 

“No, you said I like him. ♣”

 

Abaki stared at him. “Yeah. Well. Duh. Everyone knows.”

 

“But I don’t. Not in the way you’re implying. ♢”

 

“Okay then, everyone knows you like him except you.”

 

Somehow, though Abaki had never been the smoothest talker, Hisoka found himself speechless.

 

“What on earth makes you think I like him? ♠”

 

“Seriously, Hisoka?” She glared over at him, until her brows creased. “Do you really not realize?”

 

“I think he’s interesting. Entertaining. That’s all. ♢”

 

“But that means a lot to you. I know you find some of us in the troupe interesting, but it doesn’t seem the same. You get excited whenever we start heading to Kukuroo, and you actually backed out of a performance to spend time with him- something you never did before or after last time. And I saw you with Illumi out in the audience.” Abaki sighed. “I may not be able to read minds, but I can tell you think about him a lot.”

 

“And that means you like someone? Thinking about them? I thought you get butterflies or whatever when you like someone. ♢”

 

“Hisoka, no offense, but you’re not the type for butterflies. You’d probably kill them.”

 

“How rude. I like butterflies. ♠”

 

Abaki only rolled her eyes, but as she stood at the entrance of the circus, she looked at him. “Hey, Hisoka. Just… Think about it, okay?”

 

When she left, and Hisoka got the strangest feeling that he’d somehow lost an argument he didn’t even know he was having. He didn’t believe he liked Illumi though, not in the way Abaki seemed insistent on.

 

Then the announcement for the opening went through the camp, and Hisoka stood. He didn’t want to stop and think as Abaki suggested, so he decided to go about this his own way. He’d find Illumi, and figure out what to do from there. He headed into the crowd, aiming for entrance to wait for Illumi. Some girls recognized him and asked for signatures, which Hisoka gladly gave.

 

“You’re popular.”

 

He’d been waiting for that voice. “Yes, I’d say so~ ♡”

 

Looking to the side, Illumi was standing there, head leaning to the right. 

 

“Jealous? ♣”

 

Illumi blinked. “No. Though I suppose you are what some might find attractive.”

 

Hisoka smirked and leaned towards Illumi, angling himself in a way that had flustered some people he’d tried it on once.

 

“Oh, so you find me attractive, hmm? ♡”

 

Illumi’s expression didn’t change at all. “Not particularly.”

 

He had similar reactions to Machi. Though she was a bit more vehement. Hisoka chortled, but he backed off and beckoned Illumi forward.

 

“Let’s go. Anything you wanted to do in particular today? ♠”

 

Illumi followed behind him, thinking with a frown. “Will you be performing?”

 

“Yes~ You seemed so heartbroken last year~ ♢”

 

“Good. It is the main reason I attend.”

 

Hisoka paused, glancing to Illumi nonchalantly. “You like to see me perform? ♣”

 

Illumi nodded. “You have a distinct flair.”

 

High compliments from Illumi. “Enough flair to make you lie to your family? ♠”

 

The steps beside him stopped, and Hisoka turned to look at Illumi, who was rooted to the ground a few feet back. He watched, and could swear he was seeing flickers of turbulent emotions on Illumi’s face.

 

Fascinating.

 

Illumi hesitated when he opened his mouth, something Hisoka had never seen him do.

 

“Last year, you made me think about what I wanted.”

 

Hisoka nodded.

 

“I said that I live for my family. But you made me want to know who I am apart from them.” Illumi looked away with a frown. “I’m Illumi here. Not a Zoldyck. It’s… refreshing.”

 

Hisoka grinned, finding an immense amount of pleasure in having had such a profound effect on the otherwise distant Illumi.

 

Illumi began walking again, and Hisoka’s eyes were drawn to how his hair was tickling his shoulders now. “Is that why you’ve let your hair get longer? ♣”

 

Illumi’s hand brushed his hair behind his ear as he nodded. “I’m growing it out.”

 

Hisoka looked over him for a moment. He had to admit, it would suit Illumi well. “That sounds nice~ ♢”

 

They wandered around the carnival like that, making light conversation. Hisoka ended up buying Illumi triple chocolate ice cream again, and Illumi scowled as Hisoka chewed gum to the point of staleness. The time for his performance came all too soon, but Hisoka looked forward to it. He wanted Illumi to see his tricks.

 

Abaki’s words crept into his head, but he shook them out.

 

Illumi entertained him, that was all.

 

As wires lifted him to the trapeze swing, Hisoka located Illumi in the audience. This performance was for him, more or less. He stood on it and used some sleight of hand to wow the audience before he leapt off the swing. The elastic flipped him as he bounced back up, catching the platform with the back of his knees before pulling himself up. Once again, he jumped off, spinning with the bungee and catching the swing in his hand when he returned.

 

This time he began to swing the platform, pulling himself onto it when it had gained some nice velocity. He did a free fall off the swing at the height of its arc, spinning and flipping freely until the momentum wore down, forcing him to return to the swing.

 

He acted flamboyantly on his stage, flying through the air a smidge more riskily than usual, if the gasps and occasional shrieks from the audience were anything to go by. During a particularly tricky jump, he met Illumi’s eyes while everyone else was gasping. He winked as he regained control, and worked his way through the rest of his routine’s finale with smooth movements.

 

When he stood on the ground, arms raised to the applause, he sought out Illumi’s eyes again, giving a coy bow as the next act moved on stage behind him. He was thrown a towel backstage. While he wiped away the sweat, Abaki glared at him.

 

“What was that?!”

 

Hisoka quirked an eyebrow. “My act? ♠”

 

“No! I know your act, and that- that was… I don’t know! Crazy?! Even for you!”

 

“It was fun~ ♡”

 

Abaki gave him a look, but she was called away to be on standby before she could say anything. Which suited Hisoka just fine. He always needed a moment to calm down after his performances. He could feel the heat pulsing through his veins still. If it took him longer to calm down than usual, it was nobody’s business but his own. He had enough time to unwind before all the performers were called to the main stage for the final bow.

 

After they returned to the dressing room, Hisoka snuck away. He didn’t want Abaki to try to reprimand him for the performance, there was little point in her trying to do so. He’d act his own way, for his own amusement. Otherwise he wouldn’t be Hisoka.

 

So he let himself blend with the shadows and left the tent, surprised to find Illumi loitering near the employee entrance.

 

“Waiting for me? ♣”

 

“Yes. Don’t they usually have a debriefing after performances?”

 

“I’m skipping~ Some of my peers appear to disagree with how I performed. ♠”

 

Illumi’s eyebrows rose, and his head fell to the side, hair brushing past his shoulder. “I noticed you were performing challenging maneuvers. Did they protest even though you succeeded?”

 

Hisoka grinned, hands resting on his hips. “See, you understand. A man after my own heart~ ♢”

 

“I suppose I understand.”

 

They began to walk through the carnival again, though Hisoka was disappointed when he realized Illumi was subtly leading them towards the exit. His yearly visit was almost over.

 

“Is this goodbye already? ♠”

 

Illumi had opened his mouth to respond when a metal pipe cracked across his face. Before Illumi could even hit the ground, he caught himself and whipped his legs around, knocking out the legs of whoever had attacked him. Hisoka recognized it as one of the teens who’d attacked them in the alley, so he went on alert, fully expecting the kid not to be alone. Sure enough, one of them came at him with a wood slab, which he deflected before slamming the boy in the stomach and leaving him wheezing on the ground.

 

He glanced towards Illumi and stopped breathing. Illumi’s hair seemed to radiate out around him. He could feel the rage Illumi was showing, though he could only see his back. Hisoka looked towards the other boys who flinched away.

 

“You might want to leave. My friend and I aren’t very pleased to see you right now. ♢”

 

“They should learn the consequences of their actions.” Illumi growled. He barely sounded human.

 

And damn if that didn’t send heat straight to his gut. The kids ran for their lives, but Hisoka moved forward, only having eyes for Illumi. He couldn’t see his face in this darkness, but he could feel the anger in the air still.

 

“Illumi, what are you really angry with? ♡”

 

The bloodlust suddenly calmed, and Hisoka wished they had been standing by a light or something, because he wanted to see Illumi’s face.

 

“Your carnival has a first aid tent.”

 

“Indeed it does. Do you need medical attention? ♢”

 

Illumi didn’t answer, but headed back into the carnival. As Hisoka walked with him to Machi’s tent, Illumi seemed stiffer than usual.

 

“I should have been able to dodge that.”

 

Was that why Illumi had been so angry? “I may be wrong, but I believe that’s why they tried to do a surprise attack. ♣”

 

Illumi had to be scowling. “I still should have dodged it.”

 

Those were some lofty standards Illumi had been holding himself to. Hisoka found that he appreciated when his foes got a good blow in during a fight, no matter how they got it. Not that those teens were good foes, but they did piss off Illumi.

 

When they entered the first aid tent, Machi looked up and cursed. She dashed towards Illumi before turning to glare at Hisoka with pure fury on her face.

 

“What the fuck, Hisoka! You can’t attack guests!”

 

Hisoka felt mildly offended. “I’ll have you know that I’m not the cause. ♢”

 

She had already returned her attention to Illumi though, saying, “he’s got a split lip, looks like bruising starting on his face.”

 

Hisoka finally got to look at Illumi in the light since their encounter, and he froze in place.

 

“Some idiots attacked us,” Illumi stated, wiping his face. The blood from his lip smeared like a deep red lipstick.

 

Hisoka’s attention was narrowed down to that one point. The blood dying Illumi’s lips. He wanted to kiss him, to taste the blood, to see some bruising bloom under that ivory skin and be the cause of it.

 

He was aching for it.

 

Machi and Illumi were unaware of his plight.

 

“Shit, let me clean that. Are you alright?”

 

“I’m fine. Though… Is there any way you can hide it?”

 

Machi hesitated, but she didn’t pry. “... I’ll try.”

 

A thought occurred to Hisoka, and he didn’t think to not say it. “Would your parents get upset that you got in a fight? ♢”

 

“No. They’d be upset that I got hit.”

 

That… Explained a lot about his reaction, actually.

 

Machi cast a glance towards him, then pulled some cotton swabs and antibiotic gel. “Get some foundation, Hisoka.”

 

He didn’t particularly want to walk around right now, but he was still reeling over his newfound feelings towards Illumi. Plus, if Illumi’s parents found out he somehow got attacked at the carnival, they might find a way to stop him from coming. And that he would never allow to happen.

 

As he stole the palest foundation he could find from the other performers, Abaki’s words resounded through his head. Because damn it, she had been right, somehow. He rushed back to the medical tent with the foundation, and fought down jealousy as Machi rubbed it over Illumi’s face to hide the bruising.

 

The split lip was covered as well as it could be, and this time no one attacked them as Hisoka escorted Illumi to the exit. As Illumi walked away, he pulled out his phone, and Hisoka watched until Illumi vanished into the night.

 

A phone, huh? It was about time he got himself one of those.

 

The next day, he went out and bought a set of makeup for Abaki. Part of him hoped to see Illumi again, but it he was sure Illumi attended school religiously, and they would be travelling to the next city by evening. When he tossed his purchase to Abaki, she stared at him with wide eyes, until they narrowed suspiciously.

 

“What do you want, Hisoka?”

 

Hisoka smirked. “Glad to see you catch on so quickly. ♡”

 

She frowned.

 

“Help me get a phone, and I’ll tell you a secret~ ♢”

 

Abaki made a face, and Hisoka laughed. “Trust me, you’ll want to know this one. ♠”

 

When the troupe parked in their next town, Abaki took him to a phone store and spoke to the employees. He watched lazily as she showed him some models, fingernails clicking on the screen as buttons showed up.

 

“Hmm~” He opened up the camera app and brought it around, looking through the lens. “Abaki, smile~ ♣” She didn’t smile, but Hisoka snapped a picture anyway. It looked good. He grinned. “This one should do. ♢”

 

Abaki and the employee looked at each other, and soon he was the proud owner of a new smartphone. As they walked back, Abaki turned to him.

 

“So what was that secret?”

 

Hisoka grinned, leaning over and placing a kiss on Abaki’s lips. She froze, and when he pulled away, she was bright red. His smile turned to a smirk as he began walking again.

 

“You were right. ♡”

 

“About what?”

 

“I like Illumi. ♢”

 

“Hisoka, you piece of shit.”

 

Hisoka laughed, dodging Abaki’s punch as they resumed the trek back. He quickly learned all about his phone’s functions, and began annoying the troupe by taking pictures while they practiced.

 

He deleted most of them, but he kept a few choice favorites. One of Abaki focusing on a new addition to her routine. A picture Chrollo had caught him taking and ended up with the illusionist glaring at the camera. A photo of Machi sewing together a large cut from when the resident knife thrower whiffed and cut another performer. 

 

Which reminded him, “Machi! You knew right? ♣”

 

Machi glared at him. “You’ll have to be more specific than that.”

 

“That I like Illumi? ♢”

 

“Yeah, no shit.”

 

“So tell me, since you two have interacted-”

 

“However minimally-”

 

“Yes, however minimally- how would you suggest I seduce him? ♠”

 

Machi snorted. “I don’t think he’s the type to be seduced, honestly.”

 

Hisoka pouted. “Then what do I do? ♣”

 

“How about you start with wooing him, like a goddamn normal human being.”

 

“I have no idea how to do that. ♢”

 

“I know.” She exhaled loudly. “Just… You have a phone. Look up first date ideas. Ask him on a date. Think about what he would want to do. And don’t talk to me about it, talk to Abaki. She’s the one who’s actually interested.”

 

“Yeah, but she’s about as experienced as a lobster. Turns red as one whenever something happens. ♠”

 

Machi huffed a laugh. “Whatever. I already told you my advice. Now leave.”

 

As the days passed by, Hisoka waited patiently for the day he could see Illumi again. Knowing that he liked him now though, every day was torture. Machi only told him to get out of her tent when he complained, but he liked to think she enjoyed seeing him pining. Abaki sympathized, and told him to if he was so antsy, he should plan what he was going to do.

 

When the day they returned to Kukuroo was fast approaching, he finally took Machi’s advice and looked up first date ideas. Or he tried. He found himself bored to hell with them. A movie seemed like a no go for a first date. Food, sure, Illumi might be up for that. He looked up the highest rated sweets shops in Kukuroo, suddenly freezing when a thought came to mind.

 

Could he look up Illumi on this thing?

 

He tried, but “Illumi” didn’t bring much up. What had Illumi said last year? I’m not a Zoldyck here, just Illumi?

 

He changed the search to Illumi Zoldyck. First entry was school news bulletin. Checking a map, the school seemed to check out. It was in Kukuroo, within walking distance from the alley Illumi had passed by. He sat up and clicked on it impatiently.

 

Illumi Zoldyck ranked higher than his upperclassmen on standardized tests. Illumi Zoldyck brought debate team to victory, coldly dismantling any arguments the other team made. Illumi Zoldyck got first place in all sports he took part in during a sports competition, but declined to join any clubs. And a post he was actually interested in: Interview with School Mystery- Illumi Zoldyck.

 

_ On popular demand, and by vote, the figure our student body wants to know more about, Illumi Zoldyck. He’s the long haired heartthrob of the school, but nobody knows much about him, other than his prestigious Zoldyck name. Even knowing the popularity this article could bring, we struggled the most in securing an interview with the elusive Illumi more than any other hot topic. _

 

_ R: Hello Illumi. _

_ I: Hello. _

_ R: Would you mind telling us a little more about yourself? The student body is curious about you. _

_ I: I’m not sure what I could say that would be of interest to you. _

_ R: Oh. Well. Let’s start with something easy. When is your birthday? _

_ I: January 13th. _

_ R: What’s your family like? _

_ I: I’m the oldest of five. As one might expect, our home can be quite lively. _

_ R: Haha, I’m sure. Um. Is that all? _

_ I: Yes. _

_ R: I- I see. So, you’re part of the debate club. Are there any extracurriculars you’re interested in? _

_ I: Not in the school. _

_ R: Outside of school? _

_ I: I regularly attend martial arts classes. Karate, judo, taekwondo, jujutsu, mixed, so on. I’ve attended class on most styles, and if not mastered, then I have adequate knowledge of them. _

_ R: … How old are you? _

_ I: Fifteen. _

_ R: That’s incredibly impressive. You manage this on top of getting the best grades? _

_ I: Yes. _

_ R: How? _

_ I: I’m not sure I understand the question. There is no how. I just do. _

_ R: A-alright. Why do you do it? _

_ I: At first it was to please my parents. _

_ R: Is it different now? _

_ I: I enjoy the feeling of my accomplishments. _

_ R: So, Illumi, how do you relax? _

_ I: That’s a secret. _

_ R: Oho. Do you have a lover? _

_ I: No. _

_ R: Someone you like? _

_ I: My family is rather strict about relationships outside of the family. Perhaps another line of questioning? _

 

_ Illumi ended the interview after we asked about what he would find attractive in a person. We do wish we could have learned more, but as we found out, he is an incredibly busy person. Thank you for submitting your requests for- _

 

Hisoka hummed. He’d already known most of this. If anything, it told him Illumi was worried about his parents monitoring him in school. It sounded like they were against him having something as simple as friendship. But at the same time, Hisoka felt he was avoiding the question more than anything. Which brought a grin to Hisoka’s face. Illumi didn’t want to answer. That must have been why he ended the interview.

 

It made him think he had a chance.

 

But thinking of the family, he decided to look up the Zoldycks. Lawyers of a private family owned firm. Best in the business, if the estimated fees and clients were to go by.

 

“Hisoka, I swear, if you keep chuckling at your phone like a total creep, I will destroy it.”

 

“Don’t make promises you can’t keep, Machi~ ♡”

 

He went back to scrolling through the results for Illumi when his eye caught on a video. He couldn’t see much of interest in the thumbnail, but the description… “My brother annoyed me, so here’s a video of him at the national tournament.”

 

Hisoka clicked it. It was shot from a phone, but whoever had recorded it obviously knew what he was doing.

 

“Millu, are you taking pictures?” A kid’s voice. “Illu doesn’t like it when you take pictures.”

 

“Yeah, well he can mind his own business.” Another child’s voice.

 

And the camera landed and zoomed in on Illumi. Hisoka abruptly stood and left the first aid tent. Machi muttered a question and curse that he ignored. He didn’t want to watch this around anyone.

 

Illumi was sitting stiffly, eyes straight ahead. His hair had gotten longer, and he’d tied it back. It sounded like his name was called, and he stood, stepping onto a mat. He bowed to his opponent, then took a stance, and Hisoka heard some sort of announcement. He was too focused on Illumi to care though.

 

The fight apparently started, and Illumi only stood there. The other person rushed forward, punching towards Illumi. Illumi caught the fist, as well as the second one his opponent had aimed at him, then pushed him away. He approached the man, who put up his guard, then kicked forward. The man easily backed away from it and lobbied his own kick, which Illumi dodged under before solidly kicking the man in the face with his other foot.

 

Now, Hisoka didn’t know much about martial arts but it seemed like the match was over.

 

The kid recording the video wheezed a laugh. “Haha, holy shit!”

 

“Yay! Illu won, did you see that, it was like whoom, then bam and like, then he kicked ‘im in the face-”

 

“Ah, Millu, Killu. Glad you could… Milluki, are you recording this?”

 

“No.”

 

“Millu, I told you-”

 

The video ended there. Hisoka watched it again. And again. Illumi moved like death, and he loved it. Some of the other performers were coming into the tent now, and he decided to pester Abaki.

 

“Hey, hey, Abaki, watch this~ ♠”

 

“I swear Hisoka, if this is another one of those dumb videos-” Though she said that, she crowded around his phone anyway.

 

Hisoka played the video, watching as Abaki seemed to recognize what it was, and her wide eyes when Illumi quickly ended the fight.

 

“I can see why you love this Hisoka, but it’s a little creepy that you found it.”

 

“I don’t see how you would believe I wouldn’t find it. ♣”

 

“Yeah, okay, I’m not surprised you found it. Honest. I’m just creeped out. I’m pretty sure that counts as stalking, somehow.”

 

“To be fair, if we were actually in Kukuroo more often, I can assure you I would have stalked him. ♢”

 

“You know what, I’m not hearing this. You can uh, watch the video on your own, I’m going to go to Machi and ask if she has brain bleach.”

 

“If she did, I’m rather certain she would have used it herself. ♠”

 

Abaki flipped him off as she left, and he counted down the days in his head. He had a bit more than a week to figure out how to woo Illumi. He did more research on his phone about Kukuroo and all the restaurants, before coming up with what he hoped would be a simple but effective plan. Then they were back in Kukuroo.

 

“Abaki, do me a favor, please~ ♡”

 

She rolled her eyes. “Yeah, whatever. What do you want?”

 

She’d been sending too much time with Machi. “I’ll be back for the performance, but I’ll be gone for the afternoon and evening. Would you mind covering for me? ♣”

 

“What, are you going to stalk him?”

 

Hisoka pouted. “I’m going to ask him on a date. ♢”

 

Abaki paused before whipping around to him. “Wait, seriously? Like, an actual nice romantic type date?”

 

“Yes. That is what people do when they like someone, right? ♣”

 

“Yeah, but like… You’ve only seduced people.”

 

“I’ve been informed that Illumi seems the type to resist seduction. ♠”

 

“Oh. Wow. Okay.”

 

“However, I do hope to have a phone number by the end of the night. Preferably a boyfriend, but I’m not picky. ♢”

 

Abaki stared at him with wide eyes.

 

“What? ♣”

 

“I have never seen you doubt yourself.”

 

“I don’t. ♠”

 

“But this is important to you?”

 

Hisoka hummed in reply, and left. He waited for Illumi near the alley, around the time he knew schools released. It was a good estimate, though he wasn’t sure if Illumi’s other activities would delay him. He didn’t want to visit Illumi’s school. According to the websites, it wasn’t good to push too far, and according to Abaki’s reaction, stalking would be pushing too far.

 

He didn’t have to worry for long though. Illumi soon showed up on the route, his hair flowing behind him. He paused when he saw Hisoka, but approached him nonetheless.

 

“Hisoka.”

 

“Illumi~ ♣”

 

“If I didn’t know better, I’d ask if you were stalking me.”

 

“What makes you think I’m not? ♡” Probably not the best response for wooing, but Illumi was the one to bring it up first.

 

“If you were stalking me, you would have found me at school.”

 

Hisoka blinked, then began chuckling. “Aha~ That’s true. I considered it, in fact. ♢”

 

“So what do you want?”

 

“A date. ♠”

 

All emotion left Illumi’s face. He blinked. Tilted his head to the side. Then his brows furrowed, relaxed, and furrowed again. “Pardon?”

 

“I want to go on a date with you. ♢”

 

“Oh.”

 

The silence stretched between them, and Hisoka felt something sinking in his stomach.

 

“Can I change first?”

 

“What? ♣”

 

“I would like to change before our date. Should I meet you at the gates outside the carnival?”

 

“Right. Yes. Of course. I’ll wait for you there. ♠”

 

Illumi left and Hisoka had a date.

 

Well, that was the plan, right? So he wasn’t sure why he felt so flustered. Hisoka returned to wait outside the carnival, bouncing on his feet before he began shuffling a deck of cards.

 

“Hisoka, were you rejected?!”

 

Hisoka leveled an even look behind him, freezing Abaki in place before he grinned. “I’m waiting for Illumi. ♡”

 

“Oh. He agreed?!”

 

Hisoka frowned. “Why do you sound even more surprised by that? ♠”

 

“I just… I know it sounds horrible, but I didn’t think he’d accept.”

 

“That does sound horrible. ♢”

 

“Sorry.”

 

Hisoka knelt down and began to build a card tower, Abaki fidgeting behind him. He rather hoped she would leave soon.

 

“Hisoka-”

 

“Hisoka.”

 

The tower fell and Hisoka looked up to see Illumi approaching, hair flowing from under a white beanie. He’d changed his outfit to a black cardigan over a red shirt and tight jeans. Well, Hisoka would have admired the view no matter how he was dressed, but this was nice.

 

“I’m leaving Abaki. See you later. ♡”

 

“Oh, uh, right. Don’t be late, Hisoka!” Abaki turned heel and ran, much to Hisoka’s amusement.

 

“Late?”

 

“I’m still performing today. ♠”

 

Illumi nodded. “I enjoy your performances.”

 

Hisoka grinned, and they began to walk, Hisoka occasionally checking his phone to make sure they were heading the right direction. Illumi was giving him a particularly hard side eye, and it was making him curious.

 

“What are you wondering Illumi? ♣”

 

Illumi hesitated for a moment, before turning to him. “You watched that video, didn’t you?”

 

Hisoka glanced at him. He wasn’t expecting to talk about this, at least not this early. “How did you know?”

 

“Millu noticed his video got a lot of hits from one person in particular. He’s quite handy with computers and he got curious… I assume you get the picture?”

 

“Yes~ But was there really a need to ask? ♠”

 

“I wanted to confirm it.”

 

Hisoka nodded. “I suppose I should also come clean and say I read some of the articles from your school too. ♢”

 

Illumi looked annoyed at that. “What a nightmare that was.”

 

Hisoka laughed. “I could tell. ♣”

 

Illumi hummed, and Hisoka thought he sounded a bit impressed. Afterwards the conversation between them went comfortably silent. When Hisoka found the sweets shop, he gestured to it grandly. Illumi blinked at him, then at the sign.

 

“Parian’s Dessert Shoppe?”

 

“Yes. I’ve noticed your sweet tooth. ♢”

 

Hisoka loved when he caused the corners of Illumi’s mouth to twitch up. Even if it was for less than a second.

 

A bell chimed when they entered, and he glanced around. There were quite a few customers, and many seemed well dressed. He’d expected as much from the cost and reviews online. He caught Illumi’s eyes roving around the store and turned to him.

 

“Let’s look around, then we can decide what to get~ ♣”

 

Illumi nodded and began moving through the store without a word. Hisoka smirked, sure that he was- for all intents and purposes- excited. He’d never been here either though, so he padded around to follow after Illumi, taking in the huge stock of chocolates, cakes, desserts, and ice creams. When he made his way back to the counter, he took note of the options and prices.

 

Well, his wallet would take a hit, but that was something he was prepared for.

 

“Hey Illumi~ ♠”

 

Illumi appeared beside him. He glanced towards Hisoka’s wallet. “Are you paying?”

 

“Yes. I was thinking getting a couple of triple samplers. You could choose three of any flavors in the store~ ♣”

 

“If you would.”

 

Hisoka grinned and walked forward, placing his order before beckoning Illumi over to do the same. The clerk moved to complete the orders with ease, and soon they’d sat at a secluded corner. Illumi said nothing as he savored his choices. They were all chocolate concoctions- a red velvet brownie cake, chocolate caramel ice cream, and a raspberry chocolate cheesecake.

 

Hisoka began eating his way through his own brightly colored choices.

 

As Illumi settled into contentment, he eventually dragged his gaze to Hisoka. His gaze softened, inching closer to a frown.

 

“What’s wrong? ♢”

 

Illumi took a bite of his treat, sinking into thought. After he swallowed, his met Hisoka’s eyes. “When people are happy, they smile.”

 

Hisoka could tell where this conversation was going. “Illumi, I’m betting of those, the raspberry chocolate cheesecake is your favorite. ♣”

 

Illumi blinked.

 

“You’ve been smiling while you eat it. Perhaps others can’t see it, but I certainly can. ♡”

 

Illumi turned his attention back down to his treats, ducking his head down, but Hisoka saw how his expression had softened. It was the largest smile he’d seen Illumi with. It was gone by the time he’d pulled out his phone and took a picture, but he couldn’t complain. He wanted as many photos of Illumi as he could get.

 

“So what will we do after this?”

 

Hisoka looked up. “What do you want to do? ♠”

 

Illumi stared at him for a moment, then he looked back down to his food. “It may sound strange, but I would like to return to the carnival.”

 

“Oh~ That’s perfect. I was thinking the same. We could resume our competition of defeating all the stands~ ♣”

 

“Same rules?”

 

“Unless you want to change them. ♢”

 

“It’s fine.”

 

They finished their triple samplers with light conversation, mostly getting to know what they’d been up to while apart. Illumi talked a little more about his family, how the younger siblings were coming more into their own, even at their young ages. Hisoka talked about his tricks and training, how he wanted to join the normal trapeze act, though everyone else seemed against it.

 

When they arrived at the carnival, their competition began. Hisoka loved the adrenaline rush that came with trying to surpass Illumi’s own skill. He won quite a few times, but for every win, Illumi would win a match as well.

 

“What was the reason you cut off that interview? ♠”

 

“They were asking about relationships. You know my parents don’t much approve of relationships.”

 

“Yes, I’m aware. ♣”

 

“What do you expect to get out of this?”

 

“A boyfriend. Lover. Something like that. But I’d settle for your phone number~ ♠”

 

Illumi has a small smirk. “Good luck with that.”

 

“Would you ever rebel against your parents? ♣”

 

“I’d rather not.”

 

“I’m flattered then~ ♡”

 

“Do you like working here?”

 

“I like it well enough. ♢”

 

“Hm.”

 

“So what was the real reason you ended the interview? ♠”

 

“I realized something as I was talking to them.”

 

“Ooh? ♣” Hisoka wished he could immediately ask his next question, but he'd have to win again first.

 

“Would you ever leave the circus?”

 

“Yes. If something or someone interesting enough came along. ♢”

 

Illumi remained silent, and Hisoka fought tooth and nail to win their next match.

 

“What did you realize? ♣”

 

Illumi glared. “They asked me what I would find attractive in a person. I replied someone strong, but different. Someone who would challenge me to be myself. Then I realized someone already fulfilled those. And my parents might suspect if it was put in the article, so I convinced them to delete the statement.”

 

Hisoka laughed, and a message pinged on his phone. It was Abaki, saying he’d better return to the tent before he got in trouble.

 

“My performance calls~ ♠”

 

Illumi nodded, and they walked to the tent together. Hisoka knew Illumi would go to claim his seat straight away. He performed a new routine tonight. One he’d been working on for the past year, that strained his muscles and threatened his life. It put as much of his talent on show as he could manage in the setting of bungee trapeze.

 

Afterwards Illumi was quiet, tossing Hisoka a bottle of water as he drank one himself. When they were at the exit, he didn’t want the night to end, not yet.

 

He was glad when Illumi spoke. “Why are you interested in me?”

 

“You’re strong. You’re cold and calculating. You are your family’s perfect little puppet.” He could see anger rising in Illumi’s expression and smirked. “But I like the emotions and desires that slip through the cracks in your mask. The rage, the pleasure.” He leaned forward to whisper into Illumi’s ear, “I want to own them. ♡”

 

Hisoka was pushed away, and Illumi was still spilling anger. Then his brows furrowed, and his face softened. He frowned. “You don’t want me as a puppet?”

 

Illumi still looked confused, and Hisoka reached a hand forward. He grabbed Illumi’s hand. “I want you. ♢”

 

Illumi’s eyes widened, but he didn’t draw away, at least, not immediately. When he pulled his hand out of Hisoka’s, he stared at it before meeting Hisoka’s eyes.

 

“0-802-311-1999.”

 

“What? ♣”

 

“My phone number.”

 

Hisoka felt himself light up, and pulled out his phone. Illumi repeated the number to him, and Hisoka sent him a text. He heard the ping from Illumi’s pocket and grinned. Late at night, Hisoka received his first text from Illumi.

 

_ I enjoyed our date. Thank you. _

 

He smirked at that before he went to sleep.

 

As they travelled to the next town, Abaki cornered him with shining eyes. He’d rather been hoping to spend the day memorizing his date, but he knew Abaki would demand answers at some point. Since she was so desperate for them though, he wanted to have a little fun first.

 

“Ah~ Abaki. You look so energetic this afternoon. ♠”

 

“Tell me what happened.”

 

“Hmm? What do you mean? ♡”

 

“About the date!”

 

“Oh. ♣ Well, it’s currently the twenty-sixth-”

 

“No! With Illumi!”

 

Hisoka leaned his head onto a hand and summoned a little frown. “You know, Abaki… Isn’t that a little personal? I know you want to know, but I’d like to keep some things private. ♠”

 

Abaki’s mouth fell open, and she backed away from him, brows furrowing. “O-oh. Yeah. Uh. No, sorry, I didn’t even think that-”

 

Hisoka smothered a laugh.

 

“Are you laughing at me?” She frowned, then her eyes widened as she punched Hisoka’s arm. “You jerk! You were joking?!”

 

“Of course. ♢”

 

“I am so disgusted with myself for falling for that!” She punched him again. “So tell me what happened.”

 

Hisoka hummed as he pulled up the text on his phone, reading the sentence over. As Abaki shifted in her seat, he finally had pity on her and showed her the screen.

 

She was silent before looking at him.

 

“You did it?”

 

Hisoka smirked. “Did you doubt me? ♡”

 

“No. But- But-” She looked at the text again, and a blinding grin came onto her face as she jumped at him, wrapping arms around his neck. “I’m so happy for you!”

 

Hisoka was shocked speechless. Abaki always had such raw reactions, but he’d never realized people could care like that. For her to be so overjoyed at his good news… It was a new experience. She’d been proud of his talent and performances before, sure, but this- it was like she was the one who’d started going out with someone she’d been pining for.

 

“Abaki? ♣”

 

Her shoulders started heaving.

 

“... Are you crying? ♢”

 

“N-no!” What a liar. “I’m just so happy for you!”

 

Hisoka awkwardly moved a hand to pat her back, hoping she’d stop soon. Despite knowing most people would be pleased and honored to know they had such a friend, he felt… Annoyed. Empty. Unhappy. It made him want to leave.

 

It took awhile for her to settle down, but when she pulled away, he could tell she wasn’t done. She had regained that curiosity in her eyes. He lifted a finger to her lips before she could say anything and shook his head.

 

“I am not telling you anything more. ♢”

 

She frowned at him, clearly angry, but after several seconds of eye contact, she sighed. “Fine.”

 

“Good. Now, go about your merry way and gossip with someone else. ♠”

 

Abaki stared, but she eventually sighed again and left.

 

Hisoka texted Illumi.

 

_ I miss you already.  _ ⭐ㄒoㄒ💧

 

_ It hasn’t been a full day. You’re an idiot. _

 

_ Someone was so happy for me they cried.  _ ⭐￣へ￣💧

 

_ That sounds annoying. _

 

_ That’s why I like you.  _ ⭐♥◇♥💧

 

A few minutes passed before Hisoka got a reply.

 

_ You really are an idiot. _

 

Hisoka chuckled as he typed out a reply. He knew he must have flustered Illumi, but such an abrasive reply~ Hisoka thrived on it. Unfortunately, Illumi ignored the reply, and Hisoka was left to a day of avoiding Abaki and terrorizing his fellow performers.

 

He’d have to find a better conversation topic.

 

_ Tell me about your siblings.  _ ⭐◠ヮ◠💧

 

_ You know Milluki. You haven’t met the rest. _

 

_ What about the kid who was talking in the video?  _ ⭐︶ω︶💧

 

_ Killua. He’s the third. Recently turned four. Very talented in many ways. Mother and father favor him. _

 

_ Okay, next one?  _ ⭐ ◑.◑ 💧

 

_ Alluka. Three. Killua loves… Her. _

 

_ How do you feel about her?  _ ⭐¬‿¬💧

 

_ I am conflicted. My parents seem to consider her a threat, and have been enforcing that opinion on me. _

 

_ A threat to what?  _ ⭐⇀﹏↼💧

 

_ Killua. They desire him to remain unattached to anyone to focus on his education, and he is very attached to Alluka. _

 

_ What a pain.  _ ⭐￣へ￣💧

 

_ Yes. I have been splitting them up occasionally, and it causes Killua to dislike me. He doesn’t realize my parents have been considering more extreme measures. _

 

_ And is there another one?  _ ⭐ の ‸ の 💧

 

_ Kalluto. Almost two. Very quiet and composed for a toddler. _

 

_ I wouldn’t know.  _ ⭐¬‿¬💧

 

_ You don’t seem the type to be good with children. _

 

_ How rude!  _ ⭐ ⊙△⊙ 💧

 

Texting Illumi made his days away from Kukuroo go faster. He perhaps enjoyed it too much, as Machi and Abaki would occasionally send him glances or attempt to steal his phone away. He’d caught Abaki red handed on many occasions, and he could tell she was getting frustrated by his privacy. Joke would be on her when she did get his phone- he’d locked it with a fingerprint sensor.

 

What did surprise him was when an unknown number lit up his screen with a text.

 

_ This is Hisoka, right? _

 

_ Who is this?  _ ⭐╯3╰💧

 

_ Gross. Milluki. _

 

_ Ah, the second brother. It’s been a while~  _ ⭐ ・∀・ 💧

 

_ Let me get to the point. It seems improbable, but you didn’t force my brother to give you his number right? _

 

_ How rude. I assure you, it was given willingly.  _ ⭐⇀‸↼💧

 

_ Understood. _

 

_ Was that all you wanted to know?  _ ⭐¬‿¬💧

 

_ Yes. _

 

Milluki didn’t text him again after that, but he saved the number anyway.

 

As he cleaned off after a practice, Hisoka heard his phone ping. He looked over in confusion, trying to remember what he’d last said to Illumi. Something about how they should test if Hisoka’s mouth was dyed from sprinkles and kissed Illumi, if Illumi’s lips would change color too. He doubted Illumi was replying to that, not after a week.

 

When he checked his phone, he grinned. After months of conversation, Illumi had finally texted him first.

 

_ You value your freedom. _

 

_ Obviously.  _ ⭐︶ω︶💧

 

_ I have been considering… _

 

_ Yes?  _ ⭐ ﾟωﾟ💧

 

_ Perhaps I value an element of freedom as well. I am fond of your carnival, where I am not attached to my family’s name. _

 

_ That would make sense.  _ ⭐ ︶ ‸ ︶ 💧

 

_ I have been looking at my classes and credits. I am considering graduating early and moving out. The idea pleases me. _

 

_ Then you should do it.  _ ⭐^▽^💧

 

_ I’ll consider it. _

 

It made Hisoka feel pleased, insidious. He was influencing the steadfast Illumi away from his parents. And though Illumi hadn’t said as much, he was sure the rift growing between Illumi and his family was bringing him closer to Hisoka.

 

One day, Illumi asked for a recording of his routine, practice or performance. Hisoka felt himself throb at the request, remembering the video he’d saved on his phone of Illumi’s fight. He wondered if Illumi would take part in a little exchange.

 

Machi refused point blank, but Abaki was pleased to record for him- with the small expense of getting to hear a little bit of his relationship with Illumi. He sent the link less than a day from when he’d gotten the request, perhaps a little overeager to show off for Illumi.

 

_ You look impressive as always. _

 

_ Yes, yes, thank you~  _ ⭐≧◡≦💧

 

A moment’s silence, then his phone pinged with another message from Illumi.

 

_ Are you bored? _

 

Hisoka stared at the message for a moment. He thought he knew Illumi inside and out, but somehow he hadn’t expected the same in return. He hadn’t thought Illumi could read his boredom in texts or from a short video.

 

_ Bored… Yes. I suppose so. The same routine, day in and day out. Even teasing friends has gotten tedious.  _ ⭐¬‸¬💧

 

_ What would you do, outside of the circus? _

 

_ Hmm. I’m not sure. Fight? Act? Something.  _ ⭐ の ‸ の 💧

 

_ While I believe you would be proficient at those activities, I have to think it may not be a viable career option for you. You take action without stopping to consider possible consequences or other options. To put it bluntly, you’d need a manager. _

 

_ You flatter me.  _ ⭐ ﾟヮﾟ💧

 

_ That wasn’t meant to be flattering. _

 

_ Why don’t you be my manager? Something tells me you’d be good at it~  _ ⭐╯3╰💧

 

It took an hour before Illumi replied.

 

_ You’d be an annoyance to manage. _

 

But he didn’t outright say anything against it. The conversation was enough to almost make Hisoka forget about his idea of an exchange. Almost.

 

_ Say, since I sent you a video, do I get a video of you in return?  _ ⭐♥◇♥💧

 

Hisoka swore he could feel Illumi’s glare through the phone.

 

_ I’ll see what I can do. _

 

It took a little some time and patience, but he eventually received a video from Illumi. He clicked the link with a vicious smile. Inside, there was a video of Illumi. He was sparring with a ridiculously buff man- one Hisoka recognized as his father. It started off normal enough, basic attacks and blocks, until it sped up, faster and faster until their movements were blurs on his screen.

 

A blow sent Illumi flying away, though he caught himself on the mat. He was breathing deeply, loose hair falling around his face. Off camera, Hisoka heard his father’s deep voice.

 

“You can do better than that.”

 

Illumi hadn’t liked hearing that. His eyes went dead and cold, brows furrowed together, the picture of concentration. Then he moved. Fast, elegant, precise, quick as a blur back to his father, where they again began to exchange blows. His father suddenly caught Illumi by the face, attempting to slam him down to the mat. Illumi’s legs twisted around his father’s arm, and he pulled himself away from the hold, twisting around his father’s waist like a snake, until his legs were wrapped around the torso and his arms in a chokehold around his father’s neck.

 

God.

 

His father tapped his arm, and Illumi let go, dropping to the ground, where his father patted his head and nodded. Illumi began to walk away, towards the cameraman, who Hisoka assumed was Milluki again. He glanced at the camera, but said nothing.

 

“Milluki, are you recording again?” The father said with a frown. “Stop that immediately. You will get in trouble if you upload another video.”

 

And it ended there.

 

Hisoka would be indulging himself to this video a lot later.

 

He rewound to the part when Illumi had been thrown and the subsequent fight.

 

Fuck.

 

_ I love it.  _ ⭐♥◇♥💧  _ You’re beautiful when you fight. _

 

Illumi didn’t respond, but Hisoka’s imagination reacted for him well enough for the rest of the night.

 

It made him look forward to his return to Kukuroo more every day. And when the day finally came, a single text ruined his mood.

 

_ My parents are coming. _

 

_ Shit, really?  _ ⭐ ⊙△⊙ 💧

 

_ Yes. They said, “If Killua wants to go we may as well attend as a family.” _

 

_ Well, fuck. Think I could fight them?  _ ⭐ ò ‸ ó 💧

 

_ They would kill you. _

 

_ Literally?  _ ⭐♥◇♥💧

 

_ Possibly. Depending on the situation.  _

 

_ Don’t turn me on before my performance~  _ ⭐╯3╰💧

 

_ Remind me why I associate with you? _

 

Hisoka sent an image of himself, smirking, at an angle that emphasized his muscles.

 

Illumi didn’t respond.

 

Still, it irked Hisoka that Illumi’s parents would be attending. This was their day, and it was being intruded upon. He’d hoped to finally taste those lips tonight. He refused to give up on that mission with this news, but it did make finding an opportunity more problematic.

 

He watched the Zoldyck family arrive from a distance. It was his first time putting names to faces for the siblings Illumi so espoused. The kid with white hair, who looked the most like his father had to be Killua. Illumi was right in that the whole family seemed to revolve around him. There was a small girl clasping his hand and looking wildly around at the tents. Alluka probably. And the youngest was being carried by the mother, silent. He brought his attention back to the one he cared about most, and felt his face falling into a frown.

 

Illumi reminded him of those first few years. His expression was forcefully blank, an attempt to say nothing about how easily he recognized this place. For a moment, their eyes met, and Illumi slowly blinked, before he returned his attention to his family. It seemed Illumi was as dissatisfied as he was.

 

_ How about ditching your family a moment for me?  _ ⭐ ・∀・ 💧

 

He saw Illumi discreetly check his phone, and soon he had his reply.

 

_ I’m unsure of an effective method to get away. _

 

Damn.

 

When he returned to the main tent, Abaki noticed how upset he was and they began conspiring on how to get Illumi away from his family.

 

“Just steal him away,” an unexpected voice cut in.

 

Hisoka turned to see the calm expression of their resident illusionist. Chrollo normally avoided getting himself involved in Hisoka’s antics, so this was a surprise. A helpful surprise. Between the three of them, they came up with a plan to catch the family as they exited the main show. The moment everyone left the tent was always chaotic, and it was excusable for families to get separated for a moment.

 

Chrollo refused to take part beyond masterminding the idea, but Abaki volunteered to keep an eye out for the family. She’d make sure they didn’t try to turn back to find Illumi while Hisoka had him.

 

Thus, Hisoka was rather distracted during his performance, but he completed it with no mistakes. His memory of the routine was more than enough to perform it perfectly.

 

When the crowd began leaving the tent, Hisoka moved fast. He saw the figures of the Zoldyck family and snatched the wrist of their eldest, dragging Illumi to the dark corners of the tent.

 

“Got you~ ♡”

 

Illumi blinked at him. “Hisoka.”

 

“A friend mentioned that stealing what I want is often effective. ♣”

 

Illumi rose a brow, and gave a hint of a smile. “Is your friend a thief?”

 

“It’s a possibility. ♠”

 

Illumi shook his head and his expression fell. “My family is barely letting me out of their sight. You can’t possibly steal all the moments you want with me.”

 

Hisoka frowned. “I suppose that’s true. ♢”

 

With that said, Hisoka pressed his lips to Illumi’s. Illumi remained firm before he reacted, returning the kiss with the same force Hisoka was putting in. Hisoka grinned, giving a nip. They continued kissing- vigorously- and Illumi’s arms wrapped around his neck. Hisoka drew his hands up Illumi’s back, hands tangling into long black hair. When Illumi pulled back for a breath, Hisoka rushed forward again, desperate to get his tongue into Illumi’s mouth.

 

He thought he heard a sound of surprise, but he was concentrating more on how Illumi’s arms tightened and nails pulled at his scalp. He mirrored the action, scraping through Illumi’s hair as he swallowed the soft noise of appreciation.

 

And shit, he wished he hadn’t waited so long to do this. Illumi may not have any experience, but he took Hisoka’s lead with ease. They were ravaging each other. It was when Hisoka brought his lips to Illumi’s neck that he was pushed away. They were both heaving breaths, lips swelling.

 

Illumi had a hand over where Hisoka’s lips had ghosted over his neck.

 

“I should get back.”

 

Hisoka nodded over the disapproval of his mind. He wanted to march right back over there and continue, to grind against him, show him just how viscerally he was affected.

 

Instead, Illumi left, and Hisoka gave a high five to Abaki when they saw each other again.

 

The family was gone, and Hisoka was hungry for more. When the carnival was officially declared closed for the year, he checked his phone. A message waited- an address. According to the map, it was for a park. But the message was from Illumi, and Hisoka could only assume that he had been left starving as well.

 

He ran from the carnival, from the tents, and followed his phone’s directions to Illumi’s address. The park he arrived at was calm. Empty. He was sure if he wandered enough, he would find the one he was seeking eventually. So when he found Illumi sitting on a plastic picnic table, Hisoka was glad.

 

Illumi greeted him with a wave, but didn’t move from where he sat. “This is one of my favorite spots in town.”

 

“I’m honored. ♡”

 

Illumi glanced towards him, and leaned back. “You’re distracted.”

 

“You’ve been distracting me all evening. ♢”

 

Illumi gave him a look, and Hisoka sat behind him, cross-legged on the table. He leaned against Illumi’s back, and Illumi returned the pressure.

 

“Did you get in trouble for vanishing after the main show? ♠”

 

Illumi shrugged. “Yes. Fortunately it took them a while to notice I was gone. Milluki convinced them to go to a snack stand.”

 

“Would you do it again for me though? ♣”

 

Illumi hummed behind him, and the lack of denial was agreement in his book. They continued sitting on the table in comfortable silence.

 

“I enjoyed kissing you.”

 

Hisoka felt his face split wide. “Oh? ♡”

 

He felt Illumi shift, and twisted his torso to match. Illumi balanced a hand on his thigh and kissed him, much more gentle than they had earlier. It was slow and sensual, Hisoka feeling goosebumps rise as Illumi let his nails drift up Hisoka’s arm. When Hisoka groaned, Illumi took advantage, slipping his tongue into Hisoka’s mouth.

 

Illumi moved, still keeping their lips locked together as he wrapped himself around Hisoka. Hisoka pulled him closer and laid back on the table. They continued to make out lazily, until they pulled apart for a breath.

 

Hisoka tilted his head to kiss at Illumi’s temple, Illumi making a contented noise but lifted himself away. Hisoka loved how Illumi’s hair cascaded around them, like a black screen separating them from the world. He’d be fine with the world seeing them like this, of course, but that was a thought better left for another time.

 

He leaned forward and nipped at Illumi’s neck.

 

“I should probably be heading home soon.”

 

“Just give me a moment~ ♡”

 

Hisoka ignored Illumi’s annoyed sigh as he gnawed at Illumi’s neck, raising a nice hickey before he began to move to the other side. A hand pushed his face away, and he glanced up to see Illumi raise a brow.

 

“Isn’t that enough of a moment?”

 

Hisoka pouted but backed away. “Fine. ♢”

 

Illumi pressed a hand to his neck, rubbing where Hisoka had left the hickey with a frown. “You slobbered all over my neck.”

 

He did more than that.

 

“But you liked it, right? ♠”

 

Illumi moved off the picnic table, running a hand through his hair and rearranging his clothes. “It was nice.”

 

Hisoka grinned, and stood from the table himself. They walked to the exit of the park together in silence, and Hisoka eyed the mark he’d left. Illumi’s head fell to the side.

 

“See you next year?”

 

Hisoka’s eyes snapped up to Illumi’s and he chuckled thinking of those years past, when he was the one to ask that question.

 

“Of course~ ♢”

 

The next day, he woke to his phone alerting him to a message.

 

_ What is this. _

 

A picture of the hickey was attached.

 

_ Something to remember me by~  _ ⭐ ・3< 💧

 

_ I’m going to kill you. _

 

_ Darling, it’s still morning. You can’t turn me on like that~  _ ⭐♥◇♥💧

 

_ I hate you. _

 

_ You love me.  _ ⭐╯3╰💧

 

Illumi didn’t respond after that, not until late afternoon.

 

_ You don’t seem to understand the possible severity of my parents discovering this. _

 

_ Possible?  _ ⭐ の ‸ の 💧

 

_ I could be wrong. My parents could be fine with my choices. I don’t believe I’m wrong though. They are possessive and controlling, and this would trigger those impulses. _

 

_ For being such a good obedient son, this is quite the rebellious act for you, isn’t it?  _ ⭐¬‿¬💧

 

_ I suppose you could call it that. _

 

Something about the conversation bugged him, and there were few people he felt like telling it to. He considered Machi, but was sure she wouldn’t care enough to give advice. At least not anything beyond it being Illumi’s family’s problem, and to let them deal with it. Which left Abaki. He plopped himself down beside her, not saying anything yet.

 

Even he needed some time to compose this sort of query.

 

“Hisoka?”

 

“Abaki. ♠”

 

She leaned over, staring at him intently. “Uh. Is something wrong?”

 

“Yes. ♢”

 

“Okay? What’s wrong?”

 

“I believe… I’m angry. ♣”

 

Abaki nodded, though she still seemed confused. “What are you angry about?”

 

Hisoka frowned and pulled up the text conversation, tossing his phone to her. Abaki glanced at him, then looked down at the phone, brows furrowing as she read the conversation. It didn’t take long her to finish, but she continued glaring down at the phone.

 

“You wanna go beat them up?”

 

“I’d love that, actually, but Illumi would disapprove. ♢”

 

“Okay. How about just… Kidnapping Illumi?”

 

Hisoka grinned at her. “Do you think that would work? ♠”

 

“Well, it’d get him away. And you two seem pretty happy together.”

 

He laughed, grabbing his phone to shoot another text to Illumi.

 

_ May I kidnap you?  _ ⭐ ・∀・ 💧

 

_ Are you insane? _

 

_ Always.  _ ⭐ ︶ ‸ ︶ 💧

 

_ The fact that you are seriously considering such an option frightens me. _

 

Hisoka showed the exchange to Abaki, and they laughed together, but it felt empty. Abaki felt sorry for Illumi, and Hisoka wondered how serious he was. Did he want to kidnap Illumi? To steal him away from his family? He joked about it, but it was true that he wanted Illumi as his own.

 

In the past, he’d toyed with the idea of asking out Machi and Chrollo. Flirted with them, annoyed them. Tried to fight them. But he’d felt nothing for them beyond that. He respected their abilities, and they were fantastic toys, but Illumi outclassed them.

 

He wanted Illumi to belong to him, but the more he thought about it, the more Hisoka realized that he wouldn’t mind belonging to Illumi either.

 

And that was something Hisoka never thought he’d consider.

 

Illumi didn’t respond to his texts over the next couple of days. Hisoka assumed it was Illumi’s way of showing his anger over the hickey. It was annoying, but somehow charming in its pettiness. Well. Illumi couldn’t ignore him for a whole year.

 

Hopefully.

 

After a week had passed, Illumi finally texted him.

 

_ It’s gone. _

 

_ So you’re willing to talk to me again? I was so lonely.  _ ⭐T﹏T💧

 

_ I could continue ignoring your messages. _

 

Ah~ He’d missed this.

 

_ I really was lonely though.  _ ⭐￣へ￣💧

 

It took a few minutes for Illumi to send a reply.

 

_ I felt similarly. _

 

_ Really?  _ ⭐>ω<💧

 

_ It must sound idiotic after being so angry about it earlier, but I’m disappointed the hickey is gone. _

 

_ Why?  _ ⭐ の ‸ の 💧

 

_ I felt like I had a little piece of you with me while it was there. _

 

_ Never took you for such a romantic.  _ ⭐♥ω♥💧

 

_ It annoyed me just as much as you do. _

 

_ Yet you miss me.  _ ⭐¬‿¬💧

 

_ I do. _

 

Hisoka laughed to himself, delighted by Illumi’s honesty.

 

Later he found himself lounging on a bed in Machi’s tent.

 

“Illumi’s strangely honest, isn’t he? ♣”

 

“I’m not your psychiatrist Hisoka. It would never pay well enough.”

 

“Indulge me, Machi~ ♢”

 

She huffed, but complied. “He seemed pretty private to me.”

 

“But when I ask, he replies honestly. ♠”

 

“So he’s the type who can’t lie.”

 

Private, but couldn’t lie. Yes, that did make sense. Hisoka smiled.

 

Chrollo entered the tent, and he knew Machi’s dismissal was imminent.

 

“If you’re gonna be a creep over something new you learned about your boyfriend, you can do it outside of my tent.”

 

Chrollo looked between the two of them, and Hisoka shrugged. He left the tent and pulled out his phone.

 

_ What’s your favorite movie?  _ ⭐^▽^💧

 

_ Don’t have one. My family isn’t the movie going type. _

 

_ Schools show some, don’t they?  _ ⭐ ⊙△⊙ 💧

 

_ Not mine. _

 

_ How disappointing. I travel all the time, and even I’ve seen some movies.  _ ⭐ ◑.◑ 💧

 

Illumi didn’t respond to that, but the conversation confirmed what Hisoka had been wondering.

 

_ You’re so honest~  _ ⭐≧3≦💧

 

_ Ah. So that’s what that random question was about. _

 

_ Oh? So you know this about yourself?  _ ⭐¬‿¬💧

 

_ Yes. I’ve noticed it. _

 

Hisoka wondered how he didn’t notice it sooner. He’d asked more than enough questions over the years. He knew Illumi quite thoroughly. Better than anyone else, he wagered. Including his own family.

 

And Illumi trusted him. Which was probably a bad decision, but it worked for them.

 

_ It is teenagers who are supposed to be rebellious, right? _

 

_ So I’ve heard. Are you trying to justify your actions?  _ ⭐ ・∀・ 💧

 

_ No. But Killua has become rather irritable and unmanageable towards me of late. _

 

_ And you think it’s only teenagers who are rebellious?  _ ⭐¬‿¬💧

 

_ When you put it that way, I suppose it is only natural for him. He’s at an age where he has begun thinking for himself, and he appears to have formed some sort of rivalry with me. _

 

_ How old is he again?  _ ⭐ の ‸ の 💧

 

_ Five now. _

 

_ A bit precocious, isn’t he?  _ ⭐¬‿¬💧

 

_ No comment. _

 

Ah. Illumi must agree, but didn’t want to say so. 

 

_ It doesn’t seem particularly worrying to me.  _ ⭐◠ヮ◠💧

 

_ Hm. You’re probably right. _

 

_ My price for advice is a photo of you~  _ ⭐ ・3< 💧

 

It took a few minutes for him to receive another text. A photo. He froze when it loaded. There was Illumi, in his bathroom, frowning. He wasn’t wearing a shirt, and and an arm was extended out to take the picture. But Hisoka was too busy chortling to admire the Illumi’s musculature. 

 

Illumi was green. He had smears of green all over his torso, arms, and even face. It looked like Hisoka had asked for the picture while Illumi had been attempting to clean it off, since there was a section around his neck that had been rubbed red.

 

_ Killua?  _ ⭐≧▽≦ 💧

 

_ He covered my towel in green dye. _

 

_ That is amazing.  _ ⭐^◇^💧

 

_ I’m glad you are entertained. _

 

He was. He truly was. Hisoka looked back up at the picture. 

 

Massively entertained.

 

He sent Illumi a picture of himself after a shower, hair down. It seemed an even exchange for what Illumi had sent.

 

_ I didn’t ask for this. _

 

_ It’s a present.  _ ⭐╯3╰💧

 

Hisoka put his phone down, knowing Illumi wouldn’t respond for a while. He chuckled. It was late at night when the reply came.

 

_ Thank you, I suppose. _

 

Hisoka grinned and went to sleep.

 

He began to work on a new addition to his routine, hoping to perfect it by the next show in Kukuroo. This year… this year he’d go on a date with Illumi again. But what to do?

 

_ Do you have any ideas for a date this year, darling?  _ ⭐⇀ω↼💧

 

_ I don’t know. I liked what we did two years ago. _

 

_ Yes~ But how about something new? A new experience for you.  _ ⭐ ◑ ‿ ◑ 💧

 

_ According to the internet, a movie is considered a common date. _

 

_ I had considered that for our first, but I thought a movie would be too boring.  _ ⭐ ︶ ‸ ︶ 💧

 

_ I have never watched a movie. I would not mind experiencing one with you. _

 

_ So romantic~  _ ⭐♥ω♥💧

 

_ I don’t see how that was a romantic statement. _

 

_ For you, darling, it was.  _ ⭐≧3≦💧

 

Illumi remained silent after that. These were the times Hisoka hated texting. He wanted to see Illumi, watch the reaction as his words sunk in, if any hint of a blush would rise up on those cheeks. Hisoka thought he’d look splendid with red adorning them.

 

Instead, he had to wait. Days. Weeks. With only conversation to sate him.

 

_ How have your classes been going? Still on track for an early graduation?  _ ⭐ ・∀・ 💧

 

_ Yes, I’m still on track. They have mentioned taking ones that would double as college credit, but I’m not interested. _

 

_ How exciting~  _ ⭐≧▽≦💧

 

Hisoka began to formulate a plan in his head. Perhaps when they were in Kukuroo, he could begin planting the seeds of change. It might take time to fully come to fruition, to convince Illumi to leave his home. But with his graduation, it left one less obligation for him to stay.

 

As the carnival began its journey back to Kukuroo, Hisoka became more excited. Machi took to rolling her eyes at him from wherever she was hanging out with Chrollo and the rest of their little gang, but she should expect it by this point. Abaki had learned to give him space.

 

Hisoka sent a picture of himself on the trip, texting it with the message,

 

_ Pic for pic?  _ ⭐ ・3< 💧

 

A few minutes later Illumi replied. He sent a photo of himself studying in the library, looking at the camera with an expression of amusement. Hisoka immediately saved the photo. As he did, another message came in.

 

_ See you tomorrow. _

 

Hisoka couldn’t resist smirking.

 

_ Yes~ Speaking of, shall we arrange some details?  _ ⭐^◇^💧

 

They took a moment to decide where to meet up for a movie, before being left confused on what movie to see. Hisoka recruited Abaki, who suggested a romantic tragedy. He questioned her taste, but Illumi agreed to it. Abaki gave a wink as she declared that Hisoka would owe her a favor afterwards, for the suggesting the movie and for her covering his work while he was on a date.

 

Knowing Abaki, she’d want more makeup and a day totally off of performances. He wondered when she would learn he didn’t consider that a high price to pay.

 

He rushed to the theater the next day, finding Illumi already waiting for him with tickets in hand.

 

“Hello darling~ You’re early. ♡”

 

“So are you.”

 

“But I was trying to surprise you. ♠”

 

“I don’t surprise easy,” Illumi said, lips rising in a smile.

 

Hisoka chuckled. Compared to before, Illumi had become much better at emoting. Not that others would notice or care, but it mattered to Hisoka. He felt responsible for it, and he took pride in it.

 

They headed towards the auditorium together, Illumi’s gaze wandering everywhere. Hisoka grabbed his hand to garner his attention for a moment.

 

“You looking for something? ♣”

 

“Just observing. Always good to know the exits in case of emergency.”

 

Hisoka stared, blinked. He was conscious of his surroundings- enough to make use of them, but he lived in the moment. He never put so much thought into preparedness. Then he laughed, because, yes. Illumi would think about that.

 

They sat down, hands still entwined, and Hisoka slouched back in his seat. The lights darkened and soon he remembered why he didn’t like movies. They made him feel so idle. He glanced over to Illumi, who was fully focused on the movie. At least he seemed entertained.

 

The plot began to bore him, and Hisoka decided his attention was better spent elsewhere. Namely, memorizing Illumi’s face. Not that he hadn’t memorized it already, but this look of focus, of his face only being lit by the screen, was new. He watched the small flickers of emotion cross Illumi’s face, and as the dying protagonist finally confessed his love, Hisoka saw something he never expected.

 

Illumi chuckled.

 

It was short and dry, but Hisoka had seen it, he’d heard it.

 

The date was worth it. Abaki’s tragic love movie was worth it, because it had made Illumi laugh. And he loved it. Had anyone else heard Illumi laugh? Perhaps his family. Did they know overdramatic love confessions would make him laugh? What else did Illumi find humorous? Hisoka wanted to know.

 

They left during the credits, Hisoka eyeing Illumi with a smirk.

 

“Glad you found the movie enjoyable~ ♡”

 

“Yes. It was humorous.”

 

He wondered how they looked, coming out of the movie looking like they’d seen a comedy when others were wiping the tears from their face. It made him laugh more, grip Illumi’s hand tighter.

 

Illumi was his.

 

Illumi stopped in place, looking around again. Hisoka watched, eyebrow rising.

 

“Something wrong? ♣”

 

“I feel like we’re being followed.”

 

Hisoka frowned, and considered their surroundings. Illumi was right. He could feel it too.

 

“Should we split up to return to the carnival? ♢”

 

Illumi glanced at him, then around again. He hesitated. “I don’t care. They can watch.”

 

Hisoka could have soared at that moment. He leaned over to kiss Illumi, who pulled away, staring at him incredulously.

 

“I’m not an exhibitionist.”

 

Pity. “Fine, let’s head over to the carnival. I’m sure Abaki is tired of waiting for me anyways. ♢”

 

Illumi nodded, and they walked back, the day turning to dusk around them.

 

“Say, want to find a nice secluded spot and have a little fun? ♡”

 

Illumi gave him a look. “Weren’t you going to relieve Abaki?”

 

Hisoka only grinned.

 

“... Fine.”

 

As they entered the festivities, he caught sight of Abaki, who began to run forward to greet them. It only took a lecherous face and a wink for her to walk away instead. Hisoka dragged Illumi to a darker corner of the carnival, more of an employee area than anything. It housed some of the spare ropes and parts for tricks, and was often vacant while everyone was off performing and entertaining.

 

He pulled Illumi to himself hungrily, kissing at that mouth he’d been starved of for a year. Illumi returned the kiss with passion, opening his mouth and allowing Hisoka to ravage it.

 

God, he’d missed Illumi.

 

“I want to leave a mark. ♢” Hisoka purred.

 

“Make sure it’s somewhere I can cover it.”

 

Hisoka growled, but pulled on Illumi’s shirt to set his lips on a collarbone. He nipped and bit until a nice hickey appeared, grinning against it proudly. Illumi had barely made a noise, but his breathing was more unsteady now. Illumi pushed him back, his dark eyes darker.

 

“You want to mark me too? Leave a trace of your ownership on me? ♡”

 

Illumi froze, but Hisoka could read the desire in his body. “Yes.”

 

Hisoka smirked and said, “I don’t mind it being visible. ♠”

 

Illumi lunged for his neck, nibbling and sucking. He was sure the mark would be vibrant and beautiful, visible for a week, at least. When Illumi drew away, his hand went to it, examining the mark before looking up to Hisoka. He seemed to approve.

 

Hisoka leaned forward to kiss Illumi again, softly, before Illumi leaned more into it, arms wrapping around him to pull them closer together. Hisoka groaned, enjoying that lean body against his own.

 

He ground his hips up against Illumi’s and earned a gasp.

 

Illumi’s hands clawed around his back, and this time when he thrust up, Illumi met it. Yes, perfect. They moved hard against each other, and when Hisoka got a moment, he pulled back to stare. Illumi was panting, cheeks pink with a pale blush of arousal. Hisoka wrapped a hand around the back of Illumi’s head to pull him into another kiss.

 

He had to calm down before he tore their clothes off.

 

Illumi hummed and languidly returned the kiss, Hisoka letting him have control. Illumi slowed their pace, trying to explore everywhere he could. When he pulled away to kiss at Hisoka’s neck, Hisoka wondered if it was time.

 

“Hey, Illumi~ ♡” Hisoka purred.

 

“Hmm?”

 

“Why don’t you just leave? ♣”

 

Illumi pulled away and glared, though Hisoka thought it only made those swollen lips look more appetizing. “And do what exactly? Wait around for you?”

 

Hisoka smirked as he leaned forward, lips drifting up Illumi’s neck, to his ear. He bit at it before whispering, “no. I’d never ask for that. ♢”

 

“Then what are you asking for?”

 

“We could go together. ♠”

 

Illumi’s motions halted, and when Hisoka pulled back he saw Illumi’s wide eyes.

 

“Illumi? ♣”

 

“Together?”

 

“I’d leave the carnival, you’d leave your family. We could go wherever we wanted. ♡”

 

Illumi blinked. Looked away.

 

Not allowed. Hisoka grabbed his face and forced him into eye contact. “Don’t run from me. ♢”

 

Somehow, Hisoka thought he’d have more trouble planting the seed in Illumi’s mind. But if his expression was anything to go by, Illumi already wanted to leave. Illumi was staring with desire in his eyes, and Hisoka didn’t think it was the same desire as he was feeling against his thigh.

 

Then his expression clouded. “My family-”

 

“You want to be Illumi, not a Zoldyck. It’s what you said. You imply it every year you come here, every time you associate with me. So come on~ Tell me what Illumi wants. ♡”

 

Illumi shook his head. “I can’t.”

 

“You can-”

 

Illumi kissed him again, and Hisoka had to admit, it was a good way to shut him up.

 

“Illu, are you KISSING someone?!”

 

Illumi jumped and pushed Hisoka back. Hisoka let him push, but didn’t retreat. It seemed a bit late to hide. The voice didn’t sound like Milluki, who probably wouldn’t have cared, which meant it was one of the other kids. He looked towards the voice. Two kids. Killua and Alluka.

 

“I gotta tell dad.”

 

“No, Killu, no, you-”

 

“Hey dad! Guess what I saw-” Killua was already on the phone with a shit eating grin.

 

“Killua, no. Stop!”

 

“Illumi-”

 

“Killu, wait-” Alluka had a small voice as she pulled at her brother’s sleeve, but this didn’t seem to deter him. Killua only glanced at her and returned his attention to the phone.

 

“Illumi has a friend. They were kissing!”

 

Illumi wasn’t moving, and his eyes were empty. Hisoka knew whatever was about to happen wasn’t going to be good.

 

“What? Where? Um. The carnival.” He could only hear murmurs from the phone, but Killua was pouting. “Me n’ Alluka are fine. We just wanted to see where Illumi was going.”

 

“But we wanted to see a show or something. Can’t we just stay with Illumi?”

 

His father must have hung up, because Killua only stared at the phone in displeasure now. 

 

“Hisoka.” Illumi glanced towards him, expression gone. “Could you please leave?”

 

It was pointless to argue. “... Roger. ♠”

 

Hisoka moved quick, hiding among the shadows to watch what happened next. Illumi bent over, and corralled his siblings back into the bright lights.

 

“Illu?”

 

He didn’t answer them.

 

Soon enough, Hisoka saw the intimidating figures of Illumi’s parents cutting through the crowd. Their expressions were stiff and unsettling, and Hisoka knew Illumi had been right in his text. They weren’t reacting well.

 

They joined Illumi and his younger siblings, the mother sobbing over the children, before she twisted to her eldest. Hisoka kept his distance, but he heard the sharp slap and watched carefully. He heard the mother’s shrill voice.

 

“-act so irresponsibly! You must have known. And for you to have come here again! This place is a den of-”

 

“Illumi.” His father interrupted a line that was likely to offend all the workers nearby. “We are very disappointed in your behavior. Your actions display a disrespect for us, and it teaches your siblings disrespect as well.”

 

“I meant no disrespect.”

 

His mother shrieked. “No disrespect?!”

 

Hisoka wanted to reveal himself. To challenge these people. Illumi would probably kill him for it afterwards, but he could live with that. But before he could reveal himself, someone else interrupted.

 

“Excuse me, what’s going on here?”

 

It was Abaki. He saw her eyeing Illumi’s red cheek, face stiffening.

 

“I’m sorry, miss, we were having a  _ private _ conversation,” the mother hissed.

 

Abaki refused to back down. “I’m sorry, but you’re causing a scene, and harassing a valued guest. I see no sign of you having paid for your own admittance.”

 

“He’s our son, and we were worried about his safety.”

 

“Okay, but you don’t own him. He paid to come here, and we can assure you there is no reason to worry about his safety.”

 

“You?” Illumi’s mother sneered. “You must be the reason he came. Were you having a dalliance with this… circus freak, Illumi?”

 

“Mother, please calm-”

 

“Excuse me?! Circus freak? You are so outta line-”

 

“Oh, please, like it isn’t true-”

 

“I’m not the freak here-”

 

“Mother, it wasn’t her, please calm yourself.”

 

“No, Illumi, you listen to me-”

 

“It wasn’t her!”

 

A small voice yelled.

 

Illumi’s mother and Abaki turned to the voice. Alluka had been the one to yell, and she glanced to Killua.

 

“Right, Killu?”

 

Killua blinked, and nodded. “Yeah, it was-”

 

“Someone else. We couldn’t see exactly who, but it wasn’t her.” Alluka said.

 

Killua glanced at her, then looked at the ground, but nodded.

 

Their mother glared at Abaki, but she had stopped yelling. Eventually, after a tense stalemate, their father finally spoke again.

 

“Let’s go.”

 

Hisoka only approached Abaki when they were out of sight.

 

“I’m sorry.”

 

“For what? ♣”

 

“I thought I could stop them.”

 

“This was bound to happen eventually. ♢”

 

They remained silent after that. Abaki pulled him to his performance, but all his excitement for the show had vanished. After all, the most important guest was gone. He’d wanted Illumi to be there. He’d wanted to show off.

 

Now it was a chore.

 

When he’d finished, Hisoka retired for the night, attached to his phone.

 

_ Illumi? Are you alright?  _ ⭐ ◑.◑ 💧

 

No reply came. But eventually. Illumi would reply eventually, right?

 

They left town the next day, and still he heard nothing.

 

That evening his phone pinged, and Hisoka grabbed at it like it was a lifeline. It was a video. He clicked the link, and watched what looked like a webcam recording of Illumi getting lectured by his parents. At the end, the father crushed Illumi’s phone in a single hand.

 

He checked the sender’s number.

 

Milluki.

 

_ Do you think he’ll get another one?  _ ⭐￣へ￣💧

 

_ No. He managed to save the SIM card, but they’re limiting his activities. He was on track to graduate early, but they talked to the school, he has to stay another year and take college level courses. The probability of him managing to get a new phone is incredibly low, and no one here would rebel to help him. _

 

_ Except you?  _ ⭐¬‿¬💧

 

_ I don’t matter. _

 

Abaki remained reticent around him, and Hisoka decided enough was enough.

 

“It wasn’t your fault. ♢”

 

“But did I make it worse?”

 

Hisoka frowned. “No. It was his family’s problem in the first place. ♣”

 

Abaki sighed. “I just- I wish I could have helped you.”

 

“Helped me, hmm? ♠”

 

“I like you and Illumi together.”

 

“Living vicariously through my relationship? ♣”

 

“Ha. Maybe. You do make me feel better about my pathetic state of existence. If someone as insane as you can get a boyfriend, maybe I can get one too.”

 

“Why not a girlfriend? ♢”

 

“Why not indeed,” Abaki huffed. “I’ll ask Machi out, and you’ll be super jealous of how lovey we are.”

 

Hisoka grinned. “You like Machi? ♠”

 

Abaki rolled her eyes. “Not really, but we do commiserate about you a lot. Good times.” They lapsed into silence again, until Abaki twisted in her seat to face him. “How did that even happen?”

 

Hisoka hummed. “I think Illumi’s kid brother and sister followed him to our date. We could tell they were following, but decided not to care. Then Killua, the kid brother, freaked and called the parents when they saw us kissing. ♢”

 

“Why did they follow Illumi? I mean, no offense, but Illumi doesn’t seem like the most interesting person to stalk like that.”

 

Hisoka laughed, but he didn’t have an answer. He glanced to his phone. “Let me find out. ♠”

 

_ Why were Killua and Alluka following Illumi?  _ ⭐Ծ_Ծ💧

 

There was no guarantee that Milluki would answer, but it was his best bet. And sure enough, his phone lit up.

 

_ Killua’s been trying to prank him. Thought it seemed weird he was going out that day, wanted to catch him doing something funny. Caught you guys doing a lot more, sounds like. _

 

Hisoka relayed the information to Abaki, and she nodded. He stared at the phone a minute more, and sent another message.

 

_ Got any pics?  _ ⭐^▽^💧

 

Soon his phone pinged again, and Hisoka pulled up the picture, then startled Abaki with his chuckling.

 

Milluki had taken a photo of a picture he’d probably removed from a family album. A photo of young Illumi, with straight black hair that reached his chin, dressed in a kimono with his mother’s hand on his shoulder. He was staring at the camera with an expression that was dead inside.

 

He showed it to Abaki, and she stared for a solid minute before commenting, “That explains a lot, I think.”

 

_ A bold choice to send.  _ ⭐≧▽≦💧

 

_ As the second brother, I have every right to share embarrassing photos with my brother’s boyfriend. _

 

_ Loving the sentiment. But why so eager?  _ ⭐ の ‸ の 💧

 

_ … Doesn’t matter. Just be glad I am. _

 

Hisoka could do that.

 

Over the year, it was the only thing that kept him sane. Milluki didn’t text too often, but Hisoka’s phone filled with sides of Illumi he hadn’t gotten to see before. Photos of Illumi eating, studying, sleeping. Pictures from old photo albums, videos from debate tournaments.

 

He would have thought Milluki was a bit obsessed if he didn’t already know Milluki was only playing to his own obsession.

 

So when his phone lit up with no mention of an attachment, Hisoka was curious.

 

_ You want to take Illumi away? _

 

_ Yes. I want him to be mine, and more.  _ ⭐˘◡˘💧

 

He didn’t get a reply from Milluki until the next day.

 

_ I don’t know how to feel about that, but it might be better for him. _

 

_ … Do go on.  _ ⭐ ◑.◑ 💧

 

It took some time to receive a reply.

 

_ … Illumi hasn’t been himself lately. He’s been distant. Not to say he wasn’t before- he’s always been that sort of perfect brother that you hate to have because you can’t measure up. But. It’s different. Everyone can tell he’s thinking about something, and Mom and Dad have been tougher on him because of it. _

 

Milluki must have been sitting on this for a while. Hisoka didn’t have time to respond before another message came in.

 

_ Something’s gonna break. _

 

Hisoka had to agree. But neither of them knew what or when it would break.

 

_ Think I should kidnap him?  _ ⭐ ・∀・ 💧

 

_ Are you serious? If you’re serious, you scare me. _

 

_ Ah, I see how you’re related to Illumi now.  _ ⭐¬‿¬💧

 

Milluki didn’t respond.

 

As the carnival turned it’s sights back to Kukuroo, Hisoka wondered what would happen. He was sure the breaking point would be soon. After all, he was the one who’d pushed it to that point. The obsession that had grown year after year.

 

He found himself dreading the carnival’s return for the first time ever.

 

What if Illumi didn’t come? If his parents had found a way to restrict his movements so thoroughly? Hisoka couldn’t go another year without seeing him. Not like this. It was a possibility though. Based on what Milluki had told him, even a certainty.

 

He felt himself detach. Perhaps it was simply time to leave Moritonio. He’d learned what he wanted. And if leaving would provide a better chance to see Illumi, it would be worth it. He could find Illumi’s house, his school. He could find his way to Illumi again.

 

Their trucks carried the tents to the fairgrounds, and time stopped.

 

Apparently, he hadn’t needed to worry, because there, waiting for them, was Illumi. His long hair rested on his back, and he still wore his school uniform. Hisoka rushed forward and pulled him aside. Abaki stopped anyone from following.

 

“Illumi? ♣”

 

“Hisoka.”

 

“What about your classes? ♠”

 

“Skipping. Easiest way to get out of my parent’s surveillance.”

 

Hisoka could feel a grin beginning to grow on his face. “Oh? ♡”

 

Illumi shifted on his feet, and Hisoka noticed the gym bag on his shoulder. “Does your offer still stand?”

 

“Which one? ♢”

 

“Kidnapping. Going together. Take your pick.”

 

The smile was splitting his face, and he turned to Abaki who was chatting with Moritonio.

 

“Ringmaster!”

 

Moritonio looked up, as did Abaki.

 

“I’m retiring. Good luck~ ♡”

 

Moritonio blinked behind those round glasses, and Abaki’s mouth dropped open.

 

“Good riddance,” he heard Machi declare from somewhere.

 

Hisoka laughed, then grabbed Illumi’s hand and his own bag of belongings from the truck. He pulled out his phone, looking up all methods of travel out of Kukuroo. He glanced towards Illumi, giving a quick peck to those lips as they left the grounds.

 

“Ready? ♢”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Let’s go~ ♡”

 

They left together.


End file.
